Qabilene Updates

A Guy Tries to Hide From the Cops Underwater . . . but Is Caught When He Comes Up for Air

As everyone who's ever watched a movie knows, if you want to hide underwater, you need to put a little reed in your mouth and use it as a snorkel.  I mean, that's just Hiding in Water 101.



There's a 36-year-old guy named Daniel Booth from Macclenny, Florida.  And he was at his job at a solar power plant last week when the cops showed up to arrest him on a warrant for selling meth.



But Daniel decided to make a run for it, and he jumped into a POND to try to hide from the cops under the water.



But he was busted when . . . he had to come up for air.



Now he'll also be facing charges for trying to escape. 



(ABC News



(Here's a picture of him getting arrested.)

A Guy Steals His Ex's Burger King Meal Because He's Upset Another Guy Bought It for Her

If you lose your girlfriend to another guy because you can't compete with his romantic gestures . . . like occasionally buying her fast food . . . maybe you never should've had her in the first place.



There's a guy named Ervin Johnson in Austin, Texas.  And based on this story, there's NOTHING magic about him.



Last Thursday, he found out his ex-girlfriend had gone to Burger King with another dude, and that guy had bought her a meal.



Well . . . Ervin hid in the bushes outside of the woman's apartment, and when she walked up holding the Burger King bag, he snatched it out of her hand and ran off.



She called the cops, and he was charged with theft. 



(Fox 7 - Austin)


A Bank Robber Used a Pillow Case as a Mask . . . But Forgot to Cut Eye Holes

I get that not every criminal prepares like they're pulling off an "Ocean's Eleven"-style heist . . . but you gotta prepare a LITTLE.



There's a 47-year-old guy named Matthew Davies from Dunfermline, Scotland.  And last September, he tried to rob a bank.



Well, he was in court last week, and we found out how the robbery went wrong.



Apparently Matthew took a pillow case with him to the robbery to use as a mask.  But when he put it on . . . he realized he'd forgotten to CUT EYE HOLES.



So he had to take off the pillow case to be able to see during the robbery . . . which made it very easy to identify him.



He wound up pleading guilty to assault and robbery, and he'll be sentenced next month. 




A Drunk Driver's Ed Teacher Is Arrested for Hitting the School Principal

There might not be a FASTER way to get fired from a driver's ed job than this.



There's a guy named Corey Malone, and he works for a driver's ed company in Germantown, Wisconsin.  And last week, he went to Germantown High School to get one of his students.



But he was DRUNK.  And he was so drunk that, at one point, after he picked up the student, he backed the car into a gate . . . which swung out and hit the school's PRINCIPAL.



It turned out his blood-alcohol level was four times the legal limit, and he had no idea he'd hit the principal.



Fortunately, the principal wasn't hurt . . . and neither was the student in Corey's car.



Corey was arrested for operating while intoxicated. 



(Milwaukee Journal Sentinel



(Here's his mugshot, and here's surveillance video showing the crash.)

A Couple Used a Bike to Lure in Thieves, Then Beat Them with Baseball Bats

You almost never see a vigilante justice story that works out well for the vigilantes.  And this one's no different . . .



25-year-old Corey Cornutt and his 29-year-old girlfriend Savannah Grillot live together in Visalia, California.  (About 40 miles southeast of Fresno.)  And they were sick of people in their area stealing bikes.



So for several months, they'd leave a bike on their front lawn to lure thieves in.  And if anyone tried to steal it, they'd chase them down . . . and beat them with BASEBALL BATS.



They beat up at least four would-be thieves between July and November.  But neighbors say the real number was much higher.  And a few were seriously injured.



Apparently some of their neighbors supported what they were doing.  But they got caught after trying to rack up likes by posting the security footage on YouTube.



They're facing charges for conspiracy and assault with a deadly weapon.  But none of the thieves have been arrested, because Corey and Savannah never filed any police reports about the attempted thefts. 



(Fox News / KTLA)



(Here are their mugshots.)

Cops Bust a "Large Amish Party" and Make 38 Arrests

Well, at least we know no one at this RAGER was going to get in their car to drive home drunk afterwards.



The cops in LaGrange County, Indiana got several noise complaints about a party over the weekend, and reports of underage drinking.



And when they went to check out the party, they found it was a, quote, "large Amish party."



There were more than 250 Amish people there, just tearing it up, Rumspringa-ing their hearts out . . . and all of them tried to run when the cops came.



The cops managed to arrest 38 people total, including 24 underage drinkers and 15 adults.  They're mostly facing charges of minors consuming alcohol or contributing to the delinquency of a minor. 



(CBS 15 - Fort Wayne)

A Yoga Instructor Beat Up Someone for Using Their Phone in a Movie Theater

If THIS guy can't stay ZEN in the face of a minor annoyance, what hope do any of us have?



There's a 34-year-old guy named Nicholas Glasgow in Iowa City, Iowa.  And he works as a yoga instructor.



Well . . . back in September, he was at a movie theater to see "Once Upon a Time in Hollywood".  And someone else in the theater was using their phone.



After the movie ended, Nicholas confronted the guy and told him to apologize for ruining the movie for him.  And before the guy could respond, Nicholas started PUNCHING him.



Even though this happened back in September, the arrest warrant for Nicholas just went out on Friday.  And he was arrested on Sunday for assault and criminal mischief. 



(The Smoking Gun



(Here's his mugshot.)

A Guy Called 911 on Himself After He Broke into a Tire Store . . . and the Tires Fought Back

It's not a good sign for your career as a criminal if you can't even outsmart and outmaneuver inanimate objects.



There's a 30-year-old guy named Nathaniel King in Cartersville, Georgia.  And last week, he broke into a tire store.



But as Nathaniel was trying to steal tires, he got trapped under a pile of them . . . and couldn't get free.



So he had to call 911 on himself for help.  And he told the dispatcher, quote, "I think the tire rack is going to kill me."



He was arrested for breaking and entering. 



(Atlanta Journal Constitution / Fox 5 - Atlanta



(Here's his mugshot.)

A Woman Tells the Cops She Has a Medical Marijuana Card . . . But It Didn't Cover Her Crack Cocaine

This happened last month, but the police just released the report now.



Back on December 20th, the cops in Fort Pierce, Florida pulled over a 46-year-old woman.  Her name hasn't been released.



The cop smelled WEED coming from the car, and the woman told him it was because she had a medical marijuana card.  And she pointed to a hooded sweatshirt in the car where he could find it.



But when he picked up the sweatshirt . . . a CRACK PIPE fell out.  The cop searched her car and found half a dozen crack rocks under one of the seats.



The woman did NOT have a medical crack cocaine card . . . because that doesn't exist.



So she was arrested for cocaine possession. 



(Treasure Coast Palm)

A Guy Steals His Elderly Mom's Electronics and Holds Them for Ransom

You never would have seen this story a decade ago.  But now even America's seniors are so addicted to tech, they have to have it . . .



A 28-year-old guy in Georgia named Thomas McCollum is facing charges after he kept stealing his 73-year-old mom's electronics . . . and holding them for RANSOM.



He took her iPad and other gadgets like her TV, and hid them.  Then he texted her and said she wouldn't get them back until his demands had been met.



If she didn't cough up the money by his deadline, he said he'd up the ransom.  So she eventually went to an ATM with him, and gave him an undisclosed amount of money.



Police arrested him on Sunday.  He's facing a felony charge for the exploitation or intimidation of an elderly person.



Last we checked, his mom hadn't bailed him out.



(AJC / 11Alive)



(Here's his mugshot.)

A Drunk Driving Politician First Tried to Blame It on His Wife Because "You Know How Women Drive"

There are SO many reasons this guy's wife is going to be mad at him.



67-year-old Brian Kolb is a Republican assemblyman in New York.  He was first elected back in 2000.



And back on New Year's Eve, he was driving drunk and crashed his SUV into an embankment near his house in Victor, New York.



Then when Triple-A came, his first instinct was . . . to BLAME it on his WIFE.  He told the Triple-A worker, quote, "My wife was driving!  You know how women drive."



The worker called 911 because the SUV had hit a utility wire.  And when the cops came, they smelled alcohol on Brian's breath.  It turned out his wife wasn't even with him in the car when he crashed.



His blood-alcohol level was twice the legal limit, and he was arrested for driving while intoxicated.



There's no word on how his wife feels about him trying to pin it on her . . . or his take on women drivers. 



(Syracuse Post Dispatch



(Here's his mugshot.)

A Lady Threatens to Rob a McDonald's to Get Dipping Sauces

It's a fairly minor frustration when you want LOTS of dipping sauce for your McNuggets but McDonald's only gives you one or two.  So this MIGHT just be an overreaction.



There's a 19-year-old woman named Maguire McLaughlin from Vero Beach, Florida, and last week, she bought a bunch of food from a McDonald's drive thru at 3:45 A.M.



And she asked for one dipping sauce in EVERY flavor they had.  An employee told her that she'd have to pay 25 cents for each packet . . . and Maguire flipped out.



She told the employees that she'd ROB the place to get her dipping sauces . . . and she'd get her hands on that dipping sauce sampler, quote, "by whatever means necessary."



The employees called the cops, and she was arrested for disorderly conduct and resisting arrest. 



(The Smoking Gun)



(Here's her mugshot.)

A Guy Who Escaped from Prison 40 Years Ago Was Caught in Delaware . . . Thanks to Public Drunkenness

In this guy's defense, if you were trying to hide from The Law and wanted to go to a place that no one's paying attention to, Delaware is a smart choice.



There's a 63-year-old guy named Jose Romero.  And back on December 13th, 1979, he escaped from prison in South Carolina while he was on a work crew.  He was 11 years into an 18-year sentence for armed robbery.



Well . . . for the past 40 YEARS he's managed to avoid getting caught.



But that all blew up on December 28th when he was walking around Dover, Delaware DRUNK . . . and the cops stopped him.  He had an ID that said "Arnaldo Figueroa," but his fingerprints showed he was actually Jose Romero.



It turns out he's been hiding in Delaware all this time without ever getting caught.



He's now in prison there and he'll be extradited back to South Carolina soon to face charges for escape. 



(CBS News)



(Here are his mugshots from 1977 and now.)

A Woman Tries to Light Her Boyfriend on Fire When He Won't Celebrate Her New Job at Subway

There's a 46-year-old woman named Kathy Jones from Avondale, Arizona.  And last week, she got a new job at SUBWAY.



She had a few Smirnoff Ices and other drinks to celebrate, and then she asked her boyfriend Jason Davis to celebrate with her.  He said no.



So . . . she sprayed him with LIGHTER FLUID and threw lit matches at him to try to set him on fire.



He ran outside to get away from her while the cops came, and she was arrested for aggravated assault and criminal damage.



Jason says it scared him, but he's planning to stay with Kathy.



There's no word whether Subway is still planning to give her the job.  Maybe they'll be flattered she was THAT excited about working for them? 



(AZ Family / NBC 4 - Tucson)



(Here's her mugshot.)

A Guy Set a Bible on Fire at Walmart to Create a Diversion for Shoplifting

Of ALL the ways you could try to create a diversion so you could commit a crime, why pick the ONE that's going to come back to haunt you on Judgment Day?



There's a 27-year-old guy named Andrew Ells from Bismarck, North Dakota.  And last Friday, he went to a Walmart and decided to steal the stuff in his cart.



So he created a diversion . . . by lighting a BIBLE on fire.



It's not clear if he actually got out of the store with anything, but we do know that his plan didn't REALLY work . . . because the cops used security tapes to track him down earlier this week.



His fire wound up doing $300,000 in smoke damage and he was arrested for felony arson. 



(The Smoking Gun



(Here's his mugshot.)

A Burglar Hiding in a Closet Pretends to Be Santa and Says, "Ho Ho Ho"

This wouldn't even work on Christmas Eve.  But definitely not two weeks BEFORE Christmas . . .



On December 10th, a 32-year-old guy named Kabian Coleman broke into someone's house in Sparta, Wisconsin.  (It's on the western side of the state, about 20 miles from the Minnesota border.)



He ended up hiding in a closet, and the people who live in the house realized he was there when their dogs wouldn't stop barking at him.



When they tried to open the closet, he held it shut.  But he was trapped.  So he decided his best chance was to pretend he was SANTA.



Through the closet door, he said "HO HO HO."  Then he told them not to open the door, or it would ruin their Christmas surprise.



While they were calling 911, he left the closet and stole a few things from their garage.  Then he ran out and broke into a neighbor's garage.



The cops were able to track his footprints in the snow and found him there.  He later admitted he was on drugs, and claimed he was on his way to turn himself in.  He's facing charges for trespassing and resisting arrest. 






(Here's his mugshot.)

A Driver Used Too Much Air Freshener, Lit a Cigarette, and Blew Up His Car

It kind of defeats the purpose to spray air freshener in your car and THEN light a cigarette.  And apparently it's dangerous too . . .



A guy in England was stuck in traffic on Saturday when he decided to spray an excessive amount of air freshener in his car with the windows up.



Right after he finished spraying, he lit a cigarette.  And since he didn't let the car ventilate first . . . it caused a massive EXPLOSION that blew out all his windows, including his front and back windshields.



It also broke the windows of some nearby businesses.  And the doors and trunk of his car were damaged too.  In the photos, it basically looks totaled.



Luckily, he's okay though.  He somehow walked away with only minor injuries. 






(Here are the photos.)

A Bank Employee Is Busted for Stealing $88,000 . . . When He Posted Photos with Stacks of Cash on Social Media

Sometimes, there's a FAT STACK of cash that's best left NOT photographed and shared.  I know, I know, I can't believe it either.



There's a 29-year-old guy named Arlando Henderson from Charlotte, North Carolina.  And he's an employee at a Wells Fargo bank.



Well, apparently, earlier this year, he gradually stole money out of the bank vault.  And over time, he'd stolen $88,000.



Which meant he FINALLY had enough cash to make huge stacks . . . that he could pose with for Facebook and Instagram photos.



That eventually led the U.S. Attorney's Office to him . . . and he's now been arrested for financial institution fraud, 19 counts of theft, embezzlement, misapplication, 12 counts of making false entries, and money laundering.



Add it all up, and he's facing up to 40 years in prison and a $1.25 million fine. 



(CNN / Charlotte Observer)



(Here's a screenshot of one of his Facebook posts, and here's another.)

A Woman Tries to Shoplift from Walmart . . . While It's Hosting a "Shop with a Cop" Event

It seems like we hear about this crime every few years.  Here's the 2019 edition . . .



There's a 32-year-old woman named Sunny Ray Firestone, and she was at a Walmart in Uniontown, Pennsylvania on Tuesday.  And she tried to shoplift an entire cart full of stuff by walking out with it.



BUT . . . she didn't realize at that moment, the Walmart was hosting a "shop with a cop" event, where cops were buying toys for underprivileged kids.



So someone spotted Sunny trying to steal all the stuff . . . and the many, many cops in the store quickly swarmed and arrested her.



She's been charged with retail theft. 



(ABC 4 - Pittsburgh



(Here's her mugshot.)

A Guy Tries to Get into an Empty House Through the Chimney . . . and Gets Stuck

Santa Claus makes it look so easy.



The fire department in Tucson, Arizona got a call on Friday afternoon when people heard someone yelling for help from inside a vacant house.



And it turned out a guy in his 30s had tried to get into the house by sliding down the chimney . . . and got stuck.



The firefighters were able to rescue him . . . and cops arrested him for trespassing, drug possession, and an outstanding warrant. 



(ABC 9 - Tucson)



(Here's a quality photo of the guy's feet dangling out of the bottom of the chimney.)

A Lady Gets into a Fight Over Taking Home Leftovers from TGI Friday's "All You Can Eat" Appetizers

I guess this woman didn't have ALL she could eat.



A 32-year-old woman named Skylar Williams from Wyandanch, in Long Island, New York went to a TGI Friday's last week and ordered their "all you can eat" appetizers.



And . . . she tried to get a bunch of the appetizers to take home in a doggy bag.



That's not good all-you-can-eat etiquette, and most restaurants won't let you do it.



But when they told her no, Skylar went behind the bar to grab her own to-go container, and then swung a bottle of liquor at an employee who tried to stop her. 



Then she tried to walk out with the appetizers AND that bottle of liquor . . . and pulled a KNIFE on the employee who tried to stop her.



She was arrested for robbery, menacing, and criminal possession of a weapon.  She also had Oxycodone on her, so she was charged with criminal possession of a controlled substance. 



(New York Post



(Here's her mugshot.)

A Woman Was Upset with Her Son's Haircut . . . So She Ran Over the Barber

This REALLY doesn't seem like a proportionate response.



There's a 28-year-old woman named Ruby Delgadillo from Brentwood, California.  And earlier this week, she took her son to a barber shop.



Well . . . apparently she was NOT happy with the haircut the 63-year-old barber gave him.  She argued with the barber, and he went outside to write down the license plate number of her Prius.



So she RAN HIM OVER . . . and rammed him through the glass window of the store next to the barber shop.



He needed surgery for a badly broken leg and she fled the scene.  The cops are trying to track her down . . . she's going to be charged with assault with a deadly weapon. 



(CBS 5 - San Francisco)



(Here's a previous mugshot of Ruby.)

A Guy Calls Out of Work Drunk, Then Shows Up and Robs the Place

This guy's first mistake was failing to come up with a FAKE excuse for skipping work.  But it wasn't his biggest mistake . . .



20-year-old Kentarias Gowans was supposed to work a Thanksgiving Day shift at a Steak 'n Shake in Oakwood, Georgia.  (About 50 miles northeast of Atlanta.)



But he called in and said he couldn't work, because he was too DRUNK to make it in.



It's not clear how his manager reacted to that.  But Kentarias DID end up showing up later that night . . . to ROB the place.



He was still drunk around 10:00 P.M. when he walked in with a GUN . . . held it to a co-worker's head . . . and demanded money.



Multiple people called 911, and cops happened to be in the area.  So they got there in under a minute, and saw people running from the building.



When they ordered him to drop the gun, he RAISED it at them for a second, but they didn't shoot.  Then he did finally drop it.



He's facing multiple charges for aggravated assault, having a concealed weapon without a license, underage drinking, and public drunkenness. 



(Gainesville Times / AP)



(Here's his mugshot.)

A Man Is Arrested in a Stolen Chevy Truck . . . Driving to Bail Out His Brother for Stealing a Chevy SUV

There's just a special connection between siblings where, sometimes, it almost seems like they're sharing one brain.  Unfortunately for these two, it doesn't seem like it was a very good brain.



A 36-year-old guy named Eric McCracken from Topeka, Kansas was pulled over around 1:30 A.M. on Friday in a 2007 Chevy Trailblazer.  And it turned out he'd STOLEN the SUV, so he was taken to jail.



About three hours later, the cops tried to pull over a 2015 Chevy Silverado that had been reported stolen.  And after a chase, they stopped the truck and arrested the guy driving it.



The driver turned out to be Eric's younger brother, a 32-year-old guy named Keith McCracken.



And he was driving the stolen Chevy truck to the jail . . . to bail his brother out for stealing the Chevy SUV.



Both Eric and Keith were charged with possessing stolen property and driving with suspended licenses.  And Keith was also hit with reckless driving and fleeing and eluding charges. 



(Topeka Capital Journal



(Here's Eric's mugshot and here's Keith's mugshot.)

A Woman Faked a Medical Emergency to Get a Better Seat on a Plane . . . Which Forced the Plane to Turn Around

It's VERY selfish to mess up other people's travel at this time of year.  Especially when you do it because you're too cheap to splash out $19 for Premium Economy.



An American Eagle flight took off from Pensacola, Florida on Friday morning, and when it got in the air, a woman on the plane said she was having breathing issues and asked if they'd move her to a bigger seat.



They did . . . but the pilot decided that since it was a medical emergency, he'd turn around and head back to Pensacola to get the woman some help.



But when they landed, she admitted she FAKED the entire thing because she wanted a bigger seat.  And then she refused to get off the plane.



The pilot finally talked her into leaving, and she was taken into custody.  Criminal charges are probably coming. 



(NBC News)

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