Qabilene Updates

A Guy Named Kevin Bacon Crashes Into a Cop Car While Watching "Saved by the Bell" on His Phone

Now THIS is the Kevin Bacon that I want six degrees of separation from.  Because he seems pretty fantastic.

 

 

There's a 55-year-old guy whose real name is Kevin Bacon from Wells River, Vermont.  And he was driving last Thursday afternoon when he accidentally sideswiped a parked COP CAR.

 

 

Why did he hit the cop?  Kevin Bacon was looking at his phone searching for . . . an episode of "Saved by the Bell" he wanted to watch.

 

 

Luckily for us, he even told the cops WHICH episode he wanted and they included it in their police report.  It was the episode called "Screech's Spaghetti Sauce," where the gang bottles and sells a spaghetti sauce Screech makes in a cooking class.

 

 

It's not clear WHY Kevin Bacon wanted to watch that episode . . . or why it was so important that he had to do it while he was driving.

 

 

He was arrested and charged with gross negligent operation of a vehicle, leaving the scene of a crash, and texting while driving. 

 

 

(The Smoking Gun)

 

 

(Here's the mugshot of a 55-year-old man with a celebrity's name who just got a criminal record because of "Saved by the Bell".)

 

 

 


Things to do in and around Abilene

Kerry Hedges' sea salt chocolate pecan caramel pie Sept. 27, 2018. Slowpoke Farm Market features homemade pies, bread, and other foods.

Kerry Hedges' sea salt chocolate pecan caramel pie Sept. 27, 2018. Slowpoke Farm Market features homemade pies, bread, and other foods.

 

SATURDAY, JUNE 15

Pie fest

CISCO — The Cisco Pie Fest will be open from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. in downtown Cisco. The grand prize pie will win $1,000. Vendors, games, a car show and live music will be available.

Women Veterans Day

Women Veterans of West Texas will present Women Veterans Day from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. at the Abilene Convention Center. The theme will be "I am not invisible." Registration is available at eventbrite.com.

Book sale

The annual Friends of the Abilene Public Library book sale will be open from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. at the Abilene Convention Center, 1100 N. Sixth St. Most hardbound books will be $2 and most paperbacks will be $1. Children's books will be $2 per inch. Admission is free.

Butterfly in the Park

The West Texas Rehabilitation Center’s Hospice of the Big Country will remember patients who have died over the past year at its annual Butterfly in the Park Memorial Service at 11 a.m. at the Festival Gardens at Nelson Park. The butterfly release event will be followed by a picnic lunch. Admission is free to the public. For information, or to reserve a space, call 325-793-5450.

'Saving Private Ryan'

As part of the Paramount Film Series, "Saving Private Ryan," rated R, will be shown at 2 and 7:30 p.m. at the Paramount Theatre, 352 Cypress St. Tickets are $7 for adults and $6 for students, seniors, military and children. For information, go to paramount-abilene.org.

Movie at the library

A free showing of "Galaxy Quest," rated PG, will be presented at 3 p.m. at the Abilene Public Library, 202 Cedar St.

Square dance

TYE — The Wagon Wheel Squares will conduct a square dance at 7:30 p.m. at the Wagon Wheel. Tracey Dowell will be the speaker.

Others ...

  • Overeaters Anonymous, 10 a.m., Shades of Hope, 402A Mulberry St., Buffalo Gap. 800-588-4673.
  • Big Country Chapter American Association of Medical Transcriptionists meeting, 10 a.m., Arbec Room, first floor, Texas State Technical College, East Highway 80, Abilene. For medical transcriptionists or anyone interested in becoming one. 325-698-8898.
  • Abilene Society of Model Railroaders, 10 a.m. to noon, 598 Westwood Drive.
  • Blood drive, 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., Big Country Hardware, Clyde.

 

0327_ABLO_TAM_BOOK_SALE2.JPG

Joy Lewis/Reporter-NewsPeople browse through books during the The Friends of Abilene Public Library Annual Book Sale.

 

SUNDAY, JUNE 16

Book sale

The annual Friends of the Abilene Public Library book sale will conclude with the "Bag-o-Books" sale from 1-4 p.m. at the Abilene Convention Center, 1100 N. Sixth St. Books will be sold for $6 per bag, with bags provided. Admission is free.

 

Piano Keys

 

MONDAY, JUNE 17

Piano showcase

The Abilene Music Teachers Association will present its 28th annual Showcase Concert at 7:30 p.m. at First Baptist Church, 1333 N. Third St. Soloists and ensembles will perform on seven pianos. The concert will benefit Harmony Family Services Inc. Admission is free.

Others ...

  • AARP, 10 a.m., Rose Park Senior Citizens Center, Room Be, 2625 S. Seventh St.
  • Cancer Services Network’s Auxiliary meeting, 10:30 a.m., 100 Chestnut St., Suite 100. 325-672-0040.
  • Overeaters Anonymous, noon, Abilene Public Library South Branch, Mall of Abilene.
  • Schizophrenia Support Group, 1-2 p.m., Mental Health Association of Abilene, 333 Orange St. 325-673-2300.
  • Blood drive, 1-6 p.m., Brookshires, Comanche.
  • Parkinson's Exercise Class, 3:15 p.m., Hendrick Health Club, 2110 Pine St.
  • Free swim class for people with multiple sclerosis, 5:30 p.m., YMCA, 3250 State St.
  • Anorexics Bulimics Anonymous, 6 p.m., Shades of Hope, 402A Mulberry St., Buffalo Gap. 800-588-4673.
  • Central Texas Gem & Mineral Society of Abilene, 7 p.m., 7607 Highway 277 South. 325-692-0063.
  • Abilene Toastmaster’s Club 1071, 7 p.m., Conference Center, Texas State Technical College, 650 E. Highway 80. 325-692-7325 or abilene.toastmastersclubs.org.
  • Al-Anon, 7 p.m., First United Methodist Church, 1501 N. Broadway, Ballinger. 817-689-2810 or 325-977-1007.
  • Mid-City Al-Anon, 7 p.m., First Christian Church. 325-670-4304.
  • Memory Men (4-part a cappella singing), 7 p.m., First Baptist Church University Place, 302 Hickory St. 325-676-SING or www.memorymen.org.
  • Those Left To Cope, 7-8:30 p.m., First Baptist Church Ministry of Counseling and Enrichment, 1502 N. First St.
  • Abilene Community Band rehearsal, 7:30 p.m., Bynum Band Hall, McMurry University. 325-232-7383.
  • South Pioneer Al-Anon Group, 8 p.m., 3157 Russell Ave.
  • Alcoholics Anonymous/Narcotics Anonymous, 8 p.m., Avoca United Methodist Church. 325-773-2611.
  • Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse Group. 325-676-1400.

TUESDAY, JUNE 18

Square dance workshop

TYE — The Wagon Wheel Squares will conduct a square dance workshop at 6:30 p.m. at the Wagon Wheel. Tracey Dowell will be the caller.

Others ...

  • Mission on the Move Soup Kitchen, 11 a.m. to 1 p.m., Southwest Drive Community United Methodist Church, 3025 Southwest Drive.
  • Duplicate Bridge, 11:45 a.m., Mabel Lilius Bridge Center, 3001 S. Ninth St. 325-672-7990.
  • Abilene Southwest Rotary Club, noon, Beehive Restaurant, 442 Cedar St.
  • High Noon Al-Anon, noon, Southern Hills Church of Christ, 3666 Buffalo Gap Road (south end; follow the yellow signs).
  • Stroke/Aphasia Recovery Program support group, 1:30-2:30 p.m. West Texas Rehabilitation Center boardroom, 4601 Hartford St. 325-793-3535.
  • Take Off Pounds Sensibly (TOPS), 3:30 p.m., Brook Hollow Christian Church, 2310 S. Willis St. 325-232-7444.
  • Dystonia Support Group, 5:15-6:15 p.m., Not Without Us, 3301 N. First St. Suite 117.
  • Legacies Al-Anon Family Group, 5:30-6:30 p.m., Open Door Building, 3157 Russell Ave. 325-280-7584.
  • National Alliance on Mental Illness, 6 p.m., Grace Fellowship, 910 Cypress St.
  • Family (of Mental Health Consumers) Support Group, 6-7 p.m., Mental Health Association in Abilene, 333 Orange St. 325-673-2300.
  • MHAA Bipolar/Depression Peer Support Group, 6-8 p.m., Ministry of Counseling & Enrichment, 1502 N. First St. 325-673-2300.
  • Free certified nurturing parent class (pregnancy to toddler), 6-8 p.m., Mission Church, North Third and Mockingbird streets. 325-672-9398.
  • Abilene Star Chorus, 6:15 p.m., Wisteria Place Assisted Living Chapel, 3202 S. Willis St.
  • Overeaters Anonymous, 6:30-7:30 p.m., Exodus Metropolitan Community Church, 1933 S. 27th St.
  • Family Support Group for parents with special needs children, 6:30-7:30 p.m., West Texas Rehabilitation Center boardroom, 4601 Hartford St. 325-793-3500.
  • Alzheimer’s Association — North Central Texas Chapter, 6:30-7:30 p.m., Chisholm Place, 1450 E. N. 10th St. 325-672-2907.
  • Al-Anon Parents Group, 7 p.m., Hillcrest Church of Christ, 650 E. Ambler Ave. Use Church Street entrance.
  • Al-Anon, 7 p.m., Doug Meinzer Activity Center, Knox City. 940-658-3926.
  • Brigadier General John Sayles Sons of Confederate Veterans Camp 366, 7 p.m., American Legion Building, 302 E.S. 11th St.
  • Abilene Society of Model Railroaders, 7-8:30 p.m., 598 Westwood Drive.
  • Unity Group of Alcoholics Anonymous, 8 p.m., Episcopal Church of the Heavenly Rest, 602 Meander St.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 19

Memorial blood drive

The Guns & Hoses Rodney Holder Memorial Blood Drive will be open from 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. at both the Hendrick Regional Blood Center, 1150 N. 18th St., and at the Bloodmobile at KRBC/KTAB Studios, 4510 S. 14th St. For more information, call 325-670-2799.

Others ...

  • Overeaters Anonymous, 8 a.m., Baker Heights Church of Christ, 5382 Texas Ave.
  • Abilene Cactus Lions Club, 11:45 a.m., Beehive Restaurant, 442 Cedar St.
  • Abilene Wednesday Rotary Club, noon, Abilene Country Club, 4039 S. Treadaway. $12 for lunch. Jo Ann Wilson, 325-677-6815.
  • Kiwanis Club of Abilene, noon, Abilene Country Club, 4039 S. Treadaway Blvd.
  • Clearly Speaking Toastmaster Club, noon, Hunter Welcome Center, Abilene Christian University.
  • Alzheimer’s Association Caregiver Support Group, 2-3 p.m., Western Hills Healthcare Residence, Comanche.
  • Parkinson's Exercise Class, 3:15 p.m., Hendrick Health Club, 2110 Pine St.
  • Alzheimer’s disease support group, 5:15 p.m., Cedar Crest Care Center, 1901 W. Elliott, Breckenridge. Assists those who have a family member with symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease. 1-800-272-3900 or 254-559-3302.
  • Free swim class for people with multiple sclerosis, 5:30 p.m., YMCA, 3250 State St.
  • Veterans Peer Support Group, 6 p.m., 765 Orange St. 325-670-4818.
  • Mid-week Al-Anon Family Group, 6-7 p.m., Open Door Building, 3157 Russell Ave. 325-698-4995.
  • Al-Anon, 7 p.m., First United Methodist Church, 1501 N. Broadway, Ballinger. 817-689-2810 or 325-977-1007.
  • DivorceCare support group, 7 p.m., Hillcrest Church of Christ, 650 E. Ambler Ave. 325-691-4200.

THURSDAY, JUNE 20

Women's sufferage program

Dr. Tiffany Fink, professor of history at Hardin-Simmons University, will give a presentation, "Unladylike: Texas Women and the Slow Unfurling of the Right to Vote," at 6 p.m. at the Grace Museum, 102 Cypress St. Admission is free.

Others ...

  • Chronic Pain and Depression Group, 11 a.m. to noon, Mental Health Association of Abilene, 333 Orange St., 325-673-2300.
  • Abilene Founder Lions Club, 11:30 a.m., Al’s Mesquite Grill, 4801 Buffalo Gap Road.
  • Duplicate Bridge, 11:45 a.m., Mabel Lilius Bridge Center, 3001 S. Ninth St. 325-672-7990.
  • Kiwanis Club of Greater Abilene, noon, Beehive Restaurant second floor, 442 Cedar St. 325-692-5673.
  • Retired Military Wives Club bunco social meeting, 12:30 p.m., Rose Park Senior Activity Center, 2625 South Seventh St. 325-677-9656 or 325-793-1490.
  • Mental Illness Open Support Group, 1-2 p.m., Mental Health Association of Abilene, 333 Orange St. 325-673-2300.
  • Amputee Support Group, 2 p.m., Disability in Action, 317 N. Willis St.
  • Abilene 42 Club, 6 p.m., Rose Park Senior Center.
  • Teen Recovery Group, 6-7 p.m., Mission Abilene, 3001 N. Third St.
  • Free certified nurturing parent class (all ages), 6-8 p.m., Mission Church, North Third and Mockingbird streets. 325-672-9398.
  • Take Off Pounds Sensibly, 6:30 p.m. Our Savior Lutheran Church, 4933 S. Seventh St. Weigh-in begins at 5:30 p.m. 325-665-5052.
  • Free swim class for people with multiple sclerosis, 6:30 p.m., YMCA, 3250 State St.
  • Gambler’s Anonymous, 6:30 p.m., Unity Spiritual Living Center, 2842 Barrow St. 325-338-2575.
  • South Pioneer Al-Anon Group, 8 p.m., 3157 Russell Ave.
  • Unity Group of Alcoholics Anonymous, 8 p.m., Episcopal Church of the Heavenly Rest, 602 Meander St.

 

Kristi Cunningham of Roanoke reacts to the tension

Kristi Cunningham of Roanoke reacts to the tension in her cornhole match against Jerry Shaw of Fort Worth Saturday Feb. 24, 2018. About 150 people came to the Abilene Convention Center for the Texas Cornhole League's Signature Series tournament.

 

FRIDAY, JUNE 21

Cookout

A community cookout will be served from sunrise to sunset at Oldham Lane Church of Christ, 5049 Oldham lane. Breakfast tacos, hamburgers and hot dogs will be served, and educational material on Alzheimer's disease will be available. Admission is free, but donations will be accepted for the Alzheimer's Association.

Alzheimer's education

The Alzheimer's Association — North Central Texas Chapter and the West Central Texas Area Agency on Aging will present virtual dementia tours from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. at the Alzheimer's Association office, 301 S. Pioneer Drive, Suite 105. Admission is free, but reservations are required. For reservations, call 325-672-2907.

Cornhole championship

The Texas Cornhole League's ninth annual Conference Championship will begin at 1 p.m. at the Abilene Convention Center, 1100 N. Sixth St. Registration is $30-$75. To register, go to tclcornhole.com.

Movie at the library

A free showing of "Star Trek," rated PG-13, will be presented at 3 p.m. at the Abilene Public Library, 202 Cedar St.

Meet the author

As part of the "Who I Could Be" series, author Penny Parker Klostermann will speak about her work at 4:30 p.m. at the South Branch of the Abilene Public Library, in the Mall of Abilene. Admission is free.

Swenson House picnic

The Swenson House Historical Society will conduct a picnic from 6-8 p.m. at the Swenson House, 1726 Swenson St. The Red Dirt Disciples of Wylie Christian Church will perform.

Gala fundraiser

The second annual Mental Health America of Abilene art gala and fundraiser will be 7-11 p.m. at The Mill Winery, 239 Locust St. Live jazz, drinks, raffles and an art exhibit will be available, with guest speaker T.M. Gand giving a presentation at 8 p.m. Tickets are $50 in advance and $60 at the door. For tickets or information, go to abilenemha.org.

Fandangle

ALBANY — The 81st annual Fort Griffin Fandangle outdoor musical will be presented at 8:30 p.m. at the Prairie Theater, 1490 FM 1084. Reserved seating is $15. For tickets or information, go to fortgriffinfandangle.org or call 325-762-3838.

Others ...

  • Blood drive, 11 a.m. to 2 p.m., Beehive Restaurant, 442 Cedar St.
  • Parkinson's Exercise Class, 3:15 p.m., Hendrick Health Club, 2110 Pine St.
  • Abilene Chinese Corner, 5:30-6:30 p.m., Abilene Christian University library. lld09a@acu.edu.
  • Mid-City Al-Anon, 7 p.m., First Christian Church. 325-670-4304.

SATURDAY, JUNE 22

Cornhole championship

The Texas Cornhole League's ninth annual Conference Championship will continue at 8:30 a.m. at the Abilene Convention Center, 1100 N. Sixth St. Registration is $30-$75. To register, go to tclcornhole.com.

Free movies at the library

  • "Astro Boy," rated PG, will be presented at 11 a.m. at the South Branch of the Abilene Public Library, in the Mall of Abilene. "Guardians of the Galaxy 2," rated PG-13, will follow at 2 p.m.
  • "Star Wars: The Clone Wars," will be presented at 2 p.m. at the Mockingbird Branch of the Abilene Public Library, 1326 N. Mockingbird Lane.

Fandangle parade

ALBANY — The annual Fort Griffin Fandangle Parade will begin at 5 p.m. in downtown Albany. Participants will line up at 4:15 p.m. on Griffin Road.

Pro wrestling

New Texas Pro Wrestling will present "True Colors" at 7 p.m. at The Forge, 4351 Ridgemont Drive. Doors open at 6 p.m. For tickets, go to newtexaspro.com.

Fandangle

ALBANY — The 81st annual Fort Griffin Fandangle outdoor musical will be presented at 8:30 p.m. at the Prairie Theater, 1490 FM 1084. Reserved seating is $15. For tickets or information, go to fortgriffinfandangle.org or call 325-762-3838.

Others ...

  • Overeaters Anonymous, 10 a.m., Shades of Hope, 402A Mulberry St., Buffalo Gap. 800-588-4673.
  • Abilene Society of Model Railroaders, 10 a.m. to noon, 598 Westwood Drive.

SUNDAY, JUNE 23

Harlem Globetrotters

As a part of their Fan Powered World Tour, the Harlem Globetrotters will play at 2 p.m. in Moody Coliseum at Abilene Christian University. Tickets start at $18. For tickets, go to harlemglobetrotters.com or acusports.com/tickets, or call 325-674-2287.

 

By Nathaniel Ellsworth

Copyright © 2019, Abilene Reporter News. All Rights Reserved.


A Man Named Henry Ford Is Wanted for Stealing Cars in Detroit

With this guy's name and hometown, he was destined to have a life that had SOMETHING to do with cars.  Unfortunately, it's this.

 

 

There's a 49-year-old guy from Detroit whose real name is HENRY FORD.  He's not related to THE Henry Fordthough.

 

 

And . . . he's wanted right now for car theft.

 

 

He's been in and out of prison for stealing things cars and stuff inside them for decades. 

 

 

He was locked up recently for stealing GPS units out of cars, but was released.  And then he cut off his ankle monitor, mailed it back to the Michigan Department of Corrections, and stole the tires off a Ford EcoSport.

 

 

The police are trying to track him down. 

 

 

(ABC 7 - Detroit / MLive

 

 

(Here's his mugshot.)

 

 

 


A Lady Is Arrested for Driving Drunk . . . in a Power Wheels Toy

This is a REALLY embarrassing way to get a criminal record.

 


There's a 25-year-old woman named Megan Holman from Walhalla, South Carolina.  And she was arrested Monday when the cops caught her driving drunk.

 


But get this . . . she was driving a kids' motorized POWER WHEELS toy truck.

 

 

She didn't get a DUI . . . but she WAS charged with public intoxication. 

 

 

(Fox Carolina)

 

 

(Here's her mugshot, and her facial expression says, "I can't believe I just got arrested over this.")

 

 

 


Burglars Who Would Make Terrible Spies Fail at Breaking Into a Spy Shop

I'm not sure if these guys are aspiring spies . . . but if so, maybe it's time to come up with a new dream.

 

 

There's a spy shop in Daytona Beach, Florida that sells things like GPS trackers, hidden cameras, and audio recorders.  (And also something called a Semen Detection Kit, which is supposed to help you find out if your wife is cheating.)

 

 

Anyway, two guys tried to break into the store around 1:00 A.M. on Sunday.  But there were two things they hadn't counted on.

 

 

One, somehow they didn't realize the shop had surveillance cameras all over, because OBVIOUSLY a spy shop would.  So there are plenty of videos of the guys in action. 

 

 

And two, the front window was made out of a special, stronger glass, so it wouldn't break.  Even when the guys hit it with a hammer 56 TIMES.

 

 

The guys were wearing masks, but one of the cameras caught their license plate.  The shop turned that info over to the cops, and they're tracking down the burglars. 

 

 

(Daytona Beach News-Journal)

 


A Man Successfully Robs Two Banks While Armed with an Avocado

Avocados have had a lot of hype the last few years.  But maybe they're still underrated.  Because who knew they could do THIS?

 

 

A 47-year-old guy in Israel just got arrested after robbing at least two banks while ARMED with an avocado.

 

 

He painted it black, claimed it was a grenade, and it worked . . . twice.

 

 

He got about $4,500 in the first robbery, and another $3,300 in the second one.

 

 

Cops couldn't ID him from the surveillance footage, because he wore hats, glasses, and an eye patch to hide his face.

 

 

But they tracked him down by comparing the cell phone activity at each bank.  His phone was the only phone active in both places while they were being robbed.

 

 

It turns out he has a record, and spent three years in jail for a previous robbery.  It's not clear how much time he's looking at for the avocado incidents.

 

 

(Times of Israel / Daily Star)  (Here's a surveillance shot of him threatening a teller with the avocado.)

 

 

 


A Guy Goes the Wrong Way on the Highway Because "It Was Faster"

The scariest part about this story is that the guy here WASN'T DRUNK.  Like, this was a decision that his sober mind thought was rational.

 

 

The cops in Greenfield, Indiana pulled over 19-year-old De'Ante Parrish for driving the WRONG WAY on the shoulder of Interstate 70 last Wednesday afternoon.

 

 

There was traffic, so he told them, quote, "It was faster" to drive the wrong way on the other side of the highway.

 

 

Fortunately the cops caught him before he caused an accident . . . although some people had to swerve to avoid him.

 

 

He's been charged with reckless driving.  Again, he was totally sober, so he's not facing DUI charges. 

 

 


A VHS Rental Store Turned out to Be a Front for an Illegal Gambling Ring

There's nothing at all conspicuous about running a VHS RENTAL STORE in 2019.  Seems like a business with a lot of growth opportunity.

 

 

The police in Gwinnett County, Georgia have had their eye on a VHS rental store in town since January.  They've noticed the store had a LOT of customers going in and out, but none of them ever seemed to leave carrying any VHS tapes.

 

 

And when they had an undercover cop go inside last week, he found the newest movie in stock was from 2007.

 

 

He also figured out what was REALLY going on:  The VHS store was actually a front for an illegal sports gambling ring.

 

 

So they finally raided the place earlier this week and arrested the owner, a guy named Boonlert Boonsawang who was taking sports bets out of the store. 

 

 

(ABC 2 - Atlanta)


A Woman in a Restaurant Line Calls a Guy "Fat" . . . so He Buys up All the Fried Chicken so She Can't Get Any

There's really no revenge quite as good as quick, petty revenge.

 

 

A guy named Frederico Hill from Indonesia just posted a story on Facebook about the SWEET revenge he got on someone who insulted him.

 

 

He was in line at a fried chicken restaurant last week when he overheard the woman behind him talking to her kids.

 

 

And she said they should only eat one piece, or they'd wind up, quote, "fat" like the guy in front of them.

 

 

So Frederico decided to stick it to her by buying ALL of the fried chicken the store had ready.  It only cost him around $17 too.

 

 

So he walked out with 15 pieces of chicken as he heard the clerk telling the woman she would have to wait 30 minutes for them to cook up more. 

 

 

(BroBible)

 

 

 


A Guy Is Arrested for Pouring Ketchup on His Girlfriend While She Slept

Assaulting someone with a condiment still counts as assaulting someone, guys.

 

 

There's a 37-year-old guy named Peter Wagman in Pinellas Park, Florida . . . and he's been with his 41-year-old girlfriend for 11 years.

 

 

Well, on Saturday night, they got into an argument.  She eventually went to sleep.  But she woke up at 4:45 A.M. to find Peter standing over her . . . POURING KETCHUP on her in bed.  And he yelled, quote, "That's what you get, [b-word]."

 

 

He was arrested for misdemeanor domestic battery.

 

 

This isn't the first time the cops have come to their place either.  They've both been arrested for domestic battery on each other before, although the charges in both of those cases were dropped. 

 

 

(The Smoking Gun

 

 

(Here's his mugshot.)

 

 

 


A Guy Brags to 911 After Fleeing the Cops, Then They Track Him Down Using His Phone Number

If this guy had just stayed the tiniest bit humble, he might not be in jail.  19-year-old Nicholas Jones got pulled over for a broken tail light last month in St. Augustine, Florida.  Then while the cop was walking up to his car, he drove off.

 

 

But luckily, Nicholas decided to place a call to 911 about an hour later to BRAG about it.

 

 

He identified himself as the guy who ran from the cop, and was amazed they hadn't found him yet.  He said he'd driven past four other cop cars, and none of them pulled him over.  Adding, quote, "What do we pay you guys for?"

 

 

He also said the original officer must have gotten his license plate number.  But it turned out that wasn't true.  The cop didn't have time to get it before Nicholas sped off.

 

 

But thanks to the 911 call, they were able to track him down using his phone number.  And they arrested him the next day inside a Ross clothing store.

 

 

When they told him how they tracked him down, he thought it was funny that he essentially turned himself in.

 

 

He's facing charges for reckless driving, fleeing a law enforcement officer, and misuse of 911.  And they also found a bunch of drugs in his car. 

 

 

(St. Augustine Record / Fox35)  (Here's his mugshot.)

 

 

 

  •  

 


The First "Animal Left in a Hot Car" Story of the Year Features a . . . Pet Pig?

It's the first big "animal left in a hot car" story of the year . . . and it's a strange one.

 

 

Security guards at a mall in Jacksonville, Florida were patrolling the parking lot last week when they saw an animal moving around in a locked car.  And that animal was . . . someone's PET PIG.

 

 

Apparently the security guards aren't allowed to break the windows, so eventually they called the cops.  And when the cops couldn't find the owners, they broke the window to get the pig out.

 

 

It had been in the hot car for over an hour and was in BAD SHAPE.  Fortunately they had a bucket handy, filled the entire thing up, and got the pig re-hydrated.

 

 

The pig's owners eventually showed up . . . and 20-year-old Mark Gray and 19-year-old Trinity Tavarez-Soto were arrested for animal cruelty.

 

 

Animal care and protective services has custody of the pig.  It's not clear why Mark and Trinity had a full-size pig as a pet or why they brought it to the mall. 

 

 

(CBS 47 - Jacksonville

 


A Person Was Found in the Trunk of a Car at a Police Auction . . . Turns out He's a Wanted Felon

 I'm pretty sure the cops never expect fugitives to get DELIVERED to them like THIS.

 

 

There was a police car auction yesterday morning in Manheim, Pennsylvania.

 

 

And when people were inspecting a 2016 Dodge Challenger that was up for auction, they opened the trunk . . . and found a MAN inside.

 

 

He was barely responsive, so he was rushed to the hospital.  Now he's recovering, and the cops have identified him . . . as a WANTED FELON.

 

 

He's a 25-year-old guy named Leon Parks from the Bronx in New York and he had outstanding warrants for parole violations and weapons charges.  He's been transported to prison, and he'll be extradited to New York soon.

 

 

But the big question is . . . how did he wind up in that trunk?  The cops aren't sure . . . and Leon isn't talking. 

 

 

(Penn Live

 

 

(Here's his mugshot.)


An Unflushed Toilet Sparks a Plunger-Swinging Brawl Between Two Roommates

Why do people spend half their paycheck for their own place instead of getting a roommate?  This is why . . .

 

 

A 58-year-old woman in Vero Beach, Florida confronted her 36-year-old roommate last Thursday after he used the bathroom and didn't flush.

 

 

We assume no solids were involved . . . he's just a "let it mellow" kind of guy, and she's not a fan.  But he refused to flush, even after she asked him several times.  So it started a fight.  And she ended up having to use their PLUNGER to defend herself.

 

 

Apparently he SPIT on her while they were arguing.  Then she picked up the plunger and started swinging it at him to keep him away.

 

 

His name is Trovon Patterson, and he's facing battery charges.  And this might not be the first run-in they've had.

 

 

We googled him, and it turns out he also got arrested last June after spitting in a female roommate's face when she yelled at him for trashing their apartment.  It's not clear if it's the same roommate, but it sounds like it. 

 

 

(TCPalm) 

 

 

(Here's his mugshot.)

 

 

 


A Driver Runs off During a Police Chase . . . Leaving Behind His Prosthetic Leg Wearing a Croc

If you have a fake leg, does it really need a shoe that's UGLY but COMFORTABLE?

 

 

The cops in Indianapolis were in a chase with a guy on Sunday night, and when he approached a bridge that was out . . . he decided to try to jump it, "Dukes of Hazzard" style.

 

 

It didn't work, and he wound up getting stuck on some exposed beams on the bridge.

 

 

So he bailed . . . but he left behind his PROSTHETIC LEG.  And it was wearing a green Croc.

 

 

The cops are still trying to track him down . . . but considering that he's on the run with just one leg, they feel like they'll probably catch him soon.  

 

 

(CW 8 - Indianapolis

 

 

(Here's a picture of the leg.)

 

 


A Guy Fleeing Police Gets Caught After Accidentally Filling His Tank with Diesel

This guy messed up his car.  But luckily, you don't need a car in jail . . .

 

 

34-year-old Jeremy Thomas got into an argument with his stepfather and pointed a GUN at him on Saturday inCrooked River Ranch, Oregon.  (About 150 miles southeast of Portland.)  He also fired at least one shot, but didn't hit anyone.

 

 

So the stepfather called the cops.  And Jeremy and his girlfriend left with their three-year-old daughter before police got there.

 

 

But then the cops put out a description of his vehicle . . . a 2017 Chevy Cruze.  And they got a tip from a tow truck driver a few hours later.

 

 

It turned out Jeremy was low on gas.  So he broke into a barn . . . found a gas can . . . stole some of the fuel . . . and got back on the road.

 

 

But what he didn't realize was the fuel he stole was DIESEL.  So shortly after he started driving, his engine seized up.

 

 

Cops showed up and arrested him.  He's facing charges for menacing, pointing a firearm at another person, unlawful use of a weapon, and possession of a firearm by a felon.

 

 

Plus, they tacked on two burglary and theft charges for the diesel fuel he stole. 

 

 

(Bend Bulletin / KOMO)  (Here's his mugshot.  By the way, it's basically impossible to accidentally do this at a gas station, because the nozzles won't fit in your tank.)

 

 

 


A Drunk Wedding Crasher Tried to Cut in on the Couple's First Dance

There's a rule in the movie "Wedding Crashers" where you're only supposed to draw attention to yourself in a POSITIVE way.  So, not this . . .

 

 

A 37-year-old guy in Florida named Mark Saunderson crashed a wedding at the Grand Plaza Hotel in St. Petersburg on Monday.

 

 

Apparently he'd already been drinking.  Then he strolled into the reception and hit the open bar, even though he didn't know the bride or groom.

 

 

But he ended up drawing the wrong kind of attention to himself when he stumbled onto the dance floor . . . and tried to cut in on the bride and groom's FIRST DANCE.

 

 

He took off when security showed up.  Then they chased him up to the roof, where they held him until cops got there.

 

 

According to police, his eyes were bloodshot and he was slurring his words.  And when they asked for his social security number, he gave them his phone number instead.  He's facing charges for disorderly conduct.

 

 

The couple says they WEREN'T actually upset though.  They thought it was insane . . . but in a good way . . . and hope Mark had fun for the short time he was there.  

 

 

(WFTS)  (Here's his mugshot, along with photos of him dancing and the couple reacting.)

 

 

 


A Suspect Say's He'll Turn Himself in . . . If He Gets 15,000 Likes

 We're through the looking glass, people.

 

 

There's a 29-year-old guy named Jose Simms in Torrington, Connecticut, and he's wanted by the cops right now for failure to appear in court.

 

 

So he offered the police a deal:  He'll turn himself in . . . if his wanted poster on Facebook gets 15,000 likes.

 

 

The cops took the deal . . . and promoted it hard.

 

 

And it looks like it's going to work out for the cops.

 

 

The Facebook post with Jose's wanted poster hit the 15,000 likes in less than one day.

 

 

There's no word yet on whether Jose has followed through on his end of the deal.

 

 

(NBC Connecticut / Facebook)

 

 

 


A Fight Over Hedgehog Custody Leads to a Woman Hitting Her Mom

As far as custody battles go . . . this is one of the strangest.

 

 

There's an 18-year-old woman named Emma Davisson in Seminole, Florida.  And she's been living with her 43-year-old mother . . . but over the weekend, she announced she was moving out.

 

 

And she was taking the family's PET HEDGEHOG with her.

 

 

Her mom said no, Emma's younger siblings are the ones who take care of the hedgehog, so they were keeping it.

 

 

The argument escalated, and Emma's mom wound up physically blocking the door to the room where the hedgehog lives.  So Emma PUSHED her mom and hit her several times.

 

 

The cops came and she was arrested for domestic battery.

 

 

And the judge says Emma can go back to the house, supervised by a police officer, to get her things . . . but she has to leave the hedgehog. 

 

 

(The Smoking Gun

 

 

(Here's her photo.)

 

 

 


Two Friends Found a Duck at McDonald's . . . Then Got Into a Fight Over It

Look at all this trouble JUST because a random duck apparently wanted a cheeseburger or something.

 

 

A guy named Neil Edwards-Cecil from Chester, England turned 40 a few weeks ago.  And he and his 31-year-old friend Lee Gaudoin went out drinking, then stopped at McDonald's for some food.

 

 

Well, while they were eating, a DUCK randomly waddled into the place.

 

 

And Neil and Lee started arguing about the duck.  We're not exactly sure what the argument was about, we just know it was duck-related.

 

 

Then they started BRAWLING . . . and they fought with the cops who came to break it up.

 

 

They were both in court this week and got 12 months of probation and $108 in fines. 

 

 

(Metro)


A Woman Assaults Her Boyfriend for Not Celebrating Her Birthday

There's a woman named Georgia Zowacki who lives in West Newton, Pennsylvania.  And she had a birthday on Wednesday . . . she turned 55.

 

 

So she expected her new boyfriend, David Rae, to do something.  They've been living together for four months.

 

 

But . . . he didn't do ANYTHING.  He didn't get her a present.  He didn't buy her a cake.  He didn't even get her a CARD.

 

 

So after Georgia spent her birthday drinking vodka, she wound up grabbing a box cutter and going after David with it.

 

 

He ended up with some cuts on his arm.  And Georgia was arrested on several charges, including aggravated assault and reckless endangerment. 

 

 

(The Smoking Gun

 

 

(Here's her mugshot.)

 

 

 


A Cop Is Investigating a Stolen Truck . . . and It Drives Right Past Him

It's got to be nice as a cop when instead of having to hunt the criminals, they come right to you.

 

 

An officer in Gloversville, New York was investigating a report of a stolen truck on Tuesday.  And when he went to check out a spot where someone had recently seen the truck . . . it drove RIGHT PAST HIM.

 

 

So he radioed down to other cops in the area, and they pulled it over.

 

 

The cops arrested all four people inside the truck . . . three 20-year-old guys and a 24-year-old woman.

 

 

They also had crack, marijuana, painkillers, and an illegal handgun . . . so they're all facing several charges. 

 

 

(Schenectady Daily Gazette)

 


Cops Catch a Fugitive After He Facebook Messages Them "News Flash, Morons" to Correct Them on What City He's in

There's a deep irony in a criminal THIS dumb calling someone ELSE a "moron."

 

 

A 27-year-old guy named Jessie Dean Kowalchuk has been wanted in Kamloops, British Columbia, Canada for almost four years on three outstanding warrants.

 

 

Well . . . last December, a Kamloops website called CFJC Today posted about him in their weekly "Most Wanted" segment.  And they told people in the area to keep an eye out for him.

 

 

But Jessie messaged them on Facebook, and said, quote, "News flash, morons: I'm in Edmonton and not coming back."

 

 

So they let the local cops know . . . and they contacted the police in Edmonton.

 

 

They've kept an eye out for him ever since . . . and last week, they found him and arrested him. 

 

 

(CBC / CFJC Today

 

 

(Here's his mugshot.)

 

 

 


A Guy Busted for Shooting Hoops Naked Says It "Enhances His Skill Level"

In the ancient Olympics, the athletes were totally naked.  This guy . . . is no Olympian.

 

 

The cops in Longwood, Florida got a call on Sunday night about a NAKED MAN at a park.

 

 

And when they got there, they found a 29-year-old guy named Jordon Anderson who was totally nude . . . and shooting hoops.

 

 

According to the police report, when they asked him what he was doing, he said, quote, "he was working on his basketball skills and he feels playing naked enhances his skill level."

 

 

It's not clear if that was true or not, but either way, he was arrested for indecent exposure. 

 

 

(The Smoking Gun)

 

 

(Here's his mugshot . . . it seems like he might not have been in a totally sober state of mind.)

 

 

 


A Guy Dressed as the Joker Was Caught on Camera Stealing a Tip Jar

This kind of minor crime feels so beneath the Joker.  Like, this wouldn't cause anarchy and chaos at ALL.

 

The police in Toronto are looking for a guy who stole a tip jar from a restaurant last week . . . while he was dressed as the Joker.

 

For what it's worth, his makeup and the way he styled his green hair looks closest to the Jared Leto Joker or the Joker from the comic books, not the Heath Ledger or Jack Nicholson versions.

 

Anyway, the cops released the surveillance video of him stealing the tip jar to see if someone can help them track the guy down.  He'll be facing theft charges. 

 

(Toronto Star)

 

(Here's a still shot from the video.)

 

 

 


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