A 23-year-old guy named John Casford recently broke into a zoo in Wellington, New Zealand to steal a monkey for his girlfriend. Specifically, a squirrel monkey. And yes, they're pretty cute.
But he wasn't able to get one for her. And he also got pretty banged up in the process.
He managed to get into the zoo, and into their enclosure. But he FELL while trying scale a fence, and ended up with a broken leg, a sprained ankle, and two busted teeth.
He still got away. But cops were able to track him down. And he admitted that he was, quote, "high as a kite" when he did it.
Turns out he was also wanted on a few other charges, including some sort of road rage incident. And a judge just sentenced him to two-and-a-half years in prison.
(New Zealand Herald)
(Here's a photo of one of the monkeys he tried to steal.)