Qabilene Updates

Kaden's Crazy News: A Guy Steals Beer While Wearing a "This Guy Needs a Beer" T-Shirt

 A 53-year-old guy named David Jo Devoss broke into a Dollar General store in the middle of the night last Tuesday in Eustis, Florida.  (About 30 miles northwest of Orlando.)



And he stole two four-packs of beer . . . while wearing a t-shirt that said, "This Guy Needs a Beer."



He could have picked any type of beer, but went with Natural Ice . . . because you know you're classy when you're wearing a "This Guy Needs a Beer" shirt.



Anyway, he got away before the cops got there.  But he strolled back in DRUNK two days later, and tried to steal some smoked sausages.



The manager recognized him from the security tape . . . because he was still wearing the SAME t-shirt.  (Maybe his "This Guy Needs Some Smoked Sausages" shirt was in the wash?)



The cops showed up to arrest him, and he admitted to stealing the beer two nights earlier.  He's facing charges for theft, burglary, and criminal mischief. 






(Here's his mugshot and a photo of the shirt he was wearing.)



Kaden's Crazy News: A Guy Steals His Date's Car . . . Then Uses It For Another Date

 I'm not sure if there's a better example of "adding insult to injury" than THIS.



There's a woman in Memphis named Faith Pugh.  And on Saturday night, she went out with a 21-year-old guy named Kelton Griffin who she knew from back in high school.  He'd texted her out of the blue, asked her out, and she said yes.



But he showed up without a car, so she had to drive them in her Volvo.  And when she stopped for gas, he asked if she'd run inside to get him a cigar.  She did . . . but while she was inside the store, he STOLE her car.



That would already make this a hall-of-fame level terrible date.  But it gets even worse.  Because Kelton drove her car . . . to go on a date with ANOTHER GIRL.  And it turns out she's Faith's godsister.



Anyway, Faith and the cops were able to use GPS to track the car to a drive-in movie theater, where they arrested Kelton for theft of property.



And as a kicker . . . apparently he'd made Faith's godsister pay for their tickets to the drive-in.  



(CBS 3 - Memphis



(Here's his mugshot.)


Kaden's Crazy News: Guy Steals a Fire Truck and Winds Up in a Two-Hour Police Chase

How messed up do you have to be to see a bunch of firefighters working to put out a fire and think . . . "You know what would be awesome?  If I stole their truck."



Some firefighters were putting out a brush fire in Rio Linda, California on Saturday afternoon when a 29-year-old guy named David Carcalete ran up and STOLE their truck.  (Rio Linda is just outside of Sacramento.)



Then he drove it over to pick up his girlfriend, a 35-year-old woman named Candice Scollard, about a mile away.



And after that, they had a nice romantic drive through California in the truck.  And by that I mean . . . they got into a TWO-HOUR, 100-mile police chase.



The cops wound up putting down spike strips, which popped one of the tires . . . but David and Candice kept going without the tire for another half hour until they finally crashed in a ditch.



They're both facing several charges, including vehicle theft, evading, and possession of stolen property.  And the cops are pretty sure they were both high at the time. 



(NBC 3 - Sacramento



(Here are some pictures from the scene.)



Kaden's Crazy News:A Guy Hides in the Ceiling of a Grocery Store . . . to Escape Cops Who Aren't Even Looking for Him

A guy named James Aubin was arrested for robbing a bank in Dover, New Hampshire last Thursday.  But the REAL story is a 30-year-old named Eric Lombari, who saw the cops and assumed they were after HIM.



He was out on bail because of a previous drug arrest.  And when he saw police start pouring into the parking lot, he assumed they were there looking for him.



It's not clear if he'd even done anything wrong.  But he decided to hide in a nearby grocery store.  Which was unlucky, because the cops ALSO went in to see if the store's security cameras got the bank robber on video.



So at that point, Eric got into a back room, and decided to climb up into the CEILING to hide.  Then he fell THROUGH the ceiling, and was dangling from it right above the deli.



The cops could see his legs hanging out but couldn't get to him.  So he kept crawling around until the same thing happened again above the refrigerated meats section.



They eventually had to get up into the ceiling and talk him down.  He's facing charges for criminal mischief, trespassing, and resisting arrest. 



Kaden's Crazy News: A Woman Wins the Lottery with Her Nephew . . . Now She's Suing Him For His Half

Is family more important than money?  Stop laughing.  Why are you laughing?



There's a woman named Barb Reddick who lives in Margaree Forks, Nova Scotia, Canada, and her town runs a local lottery that works like a raffle with a huge prize and then a bunch of smaller prizes.



Well . . . on Wednesday, she won the jackpot with her nephew, Tyrone MacInnis.  Both of their names were on the ticket, so they split the prize of $930,000.



They each got checks for half, they took smiling pictures, and that should've been their happy family moment.  BUT . . . yesterday, Barb made a hell of a left turn.



She said she told her nephew they could split the consolation prizes from the lottery . . . but not the grand prize.  So she's going to SUE HIM to get his half of the money.



She says she doesn't think he deserves the money, and she only put his name on the ticket, quote, "For good luck.  Because he's like a son to me . . . he was." 






(Here's a picture of them holding the check.  It's Canadian dollars, which is why it says $1.2 million, not $930,000.)

Kaden's Crazy New: A Man Missing a Leg Flees a Burglary in a Car Missing a Tire

 If THIS guy can get away from a crime scene, then anyone can.



A guy with a prosthetic left leg broke into the leasing office at an apartment complex in Del City, Oklahoma earlier this week.



It's not clear if he stole anything, but the building manager caught him in the office . . . so he ran off.  Well, it was more like a skipping motion from the security footage, because, again, the missing leg.



And he got into a Toyota 4 Runner with three regular tires and one spare tire and drove away.



Yes, the guy who was missing a leg escaped in his car that was missing a tire.  AND IT ALL WORKED.



The cops are trying to track him down but right now they're . . . pun not intended . . . stumped.

Kaden's Crazy News: A Burglar Breaks Into an Escape Room . . . Then Calls 911 When He Can't Get Out

Oh man, this guy is NEVER going to live this down.



A 40-year-old guy named Rye Wardlaw in Vancouver, Washington broke into a business in a strip mall late on Saturday night.



That business happened to be the Northwest Escape Experience, which is one of those ESCAPE ROOMS that are everywhere now.



And this is a hell of an endorsement for the business . . . because once he was in, he couldn't figure out HOW to get out of the escape room.



So he wound up calling 911 for help.



The cops came and arrested him for second-degree burglary. 

Kaden's Crazy News A Drunk Driver Runs Back to His Burning Car to Light a Cigarette

A 25-year-old idiot named Robert Quigley was driving drunk near Sacramento, California on Sunday when he rear-ended an SUV, and his car caught fire.



He was going about 80 miles an hour when he ran into a traffic jam, and couldn't stop in time.  Luckily no one was seriously injured.



Anyway, a cop stopped to help, and saw Robert switching seats with his passenger to avoid a DUI.  Yes, the car was already on FIRE at this point.  So . . . great priorities.



Then after they were both out, Robert ran BACK to his burning car . . . so he could use the flames to light a cigarette.



He burned part of his eyebrows off in the process, but told cops he's not afraid of fire, because he, quote, "deals with this kind of stuff all the time."  (???)



It's not clear what he meant by that.  But it turned out it was his second DUI in less than a week. 

Kaden's Crazy New: Guy Named Benedict Went on an Egging Spree

I guess this guy's victims are all lucky they didn't have to find a way to get hollandaise sauce off their cars.



The police in Bismarck, North Dakota just caught a guy who egged more than 20 cars and a school last month.  And the name of the guy behind the eggings was . . . Benedict. 



Man, if he didn't hear "Eggs Benedict" jokes growing up, he just sealed that nickname for the rest of his life.



The cops arrested 19-year-old "Eggs" Benedict Ponzer last week for felony criminal mischief, after they got his license plate from a surveillance video.  It's a felony because he did more than $3,200 worth of damage to the cars.

Kaden's Crazy News: Cops Find a Drunk Driver's Big Gulp Full of Booze After He Demands They Search His Car

Here's a good example of how too much alcohol can make you WAY more confident than you should be . . .



Last month, police in Vero Beach, Florida pulled a guy over for blasting his music at 2:45 in the morning while driving through a residential neighborhood.



The driver was 32-year-old Tremaine McGriff, and he was obviously drunk.  He couldn't stand without holding onto a fence, and was slurring his words.



But apparently he still tried to claim he was fine to drive, and DEMANDED the cops search his car for alcohol.  So they did . . . and immediately found a Big Gulp cup full of booze and ice.  No mixer.  Just ice and alcohol.



He was slurring so badly, they couldn't understand his name, and asked him to WRITE it down.  And instead of Tremaine, he wrote "TreMARIO."  (It's almost like he wanted to use a fake name, but was already halfway in.)



They gave him a breathalyzer, and he was four times the legal limit.  He's now facing DUI charges. 



(TC Palm)



(Here's his mugshot.)

Kaden's Crazy News: A Bruce Springsteen Fan Got Scammed Out of $1,600, Because They Thought Bruce Was Texting Them Directly

You know the old scam where a "Nigerian prince" gets in touch and says he's desperately in need of a short-term loan?  Somehow, this might be even dumber . . .



Some rube in Morton Grove, Illinois near Chicago got a text last month that appeared to be from BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN.  Yes, The Boss was texting them directly.  He said he needed cash . . . and they actually believed it.



The text said he needed the money to help cover a, quote, "investment in gold he made in Dubai."  And they believed that part too.



They ended up sending the scammer $1,100 to cover the Dubai investment.  Plus, a $500 iTunes gift card that was supposed to help senior citizens pay off their phone bills.  (???)  (If anyone asks you to pay with an iTunes gift card, it's definitely a scam.)



They eventually wised up and called the cops, but not until after they'd transferred all the money.  And at that point, there wasn't much anyone could do. 



( / Asbury Park Press)


Kaden's Crazy News: A Woman Is Arrested For Attacking Her Husband Using Aggressive Pillow Fighting Tactics

 It's a fine line between a pillow fight and a crime.



There's a 38-year-old woman in Niceville, Florida who got into an argument with her boyfriend last week after she threw their cat onto his lap.



And during their argument, she grabbed a pillow and started hitting him with it.  Then she grabbed a couch cushion and started hitting him with that.



And when he tried to stop her by grabbing the pillows, she pushed him back onto the couch.  Those are some seriously aggressive pillow fighting tactics.



Anyway, the cops got involved and she was arrested for domestic violence battery. 



(Northwest Florida Daily News)

Kaden's Crazy News: There's a Warrant Out For a Guy Who Called 911 Over a Glass of Milk and His Lost TV Remote

 I figured if you prank call 911 three or four times you'll probably wind up getting in trouble.  Apparently some police departments give you WAY, WAY more leeway.



There's a 62-year-old guy in the Atlanta area named William Baccus.  And he's called 911 at least 118 TIMES over the past three years . . . with exactly ZERO real emergencies.



One time he called and asked them to bring him a glass of milk.  One time it was because he couldn't find his cell phone.  One time it was because he lost his TV remote.



And the cops or fire department have gone to his house EVERY single time . . . and he never answers the door.



So they finally just put out a warrant for his arrest for abusing the 911 system.  And oddly enough, now he refuses to get in touch with them. 



(ABC 2 - Atlanta)



Kaden's Crazy News: A Guy Was Arrested For Shooting His Brother . . . Again

 I have a feeling I know what this guy's gonna do if he gets out of jail for a second time.



There's a 43-year-old guy in Phelps, Kentucky named David Adkins.  And last June, he was arrested for shooting his brother.



He was initially charged with attempted murder but he wound up pleading guilty to fourth-degree assault and he got out of jail three months ago.



But earlier this month . . . David shot his brother AGAIN.  We're not sure why but clearly these guys don't get along.



Anyway, his brother survived again, and David was arrested again.  He's in jail right now facing first-degree assault charges. 






(Here's his mugshot

Kaden's Crazy News: A Thief Is Busted Because of His Nauseating Body Odor

This guy was just one shower away from the PERFECT CRIME . . . but it turns out that was just too much to ask.



A 35-year-old guy named Barry O'Pray broke into a guy named Ryan Boyd's apartment in Paisley, Scotland earlier this year.  Barry stole Ryan's PlayStation 4, his Nintendo Switch, and a bunch of games worth about $1,300.



And when Ryan got home and found that he'd been robbed, he noticed a very STRONG and AWFUL smell in his house.  It was the smell of horrible body odor.



But Ryan had smelled it before . . . earlier that morning, when he walked past a guy sitting on a bench near his apartment.  And yeah, that guy was Barry.



He passed that info along to the cops, and they were able to track down Barry. 



He was arrested for burglary, and last week, he was in court and pled guilty. 

Kaden's Crazy News: A 66-Year-Old Mom Attempts a Drive-By on Her Son

Here's something you DEFINITELY don't see every day. There's a 66-year-old woman in Panama City Beach, Florida named Priscilla Ann Ethridge.  And on Saturday night, she got into an argument with her 46-year-old son after she thought he stole her cell phone. He left the house on his bike . . . but she wasn't done with him. So she got in her car . . . and did a DRIVE-BY SHOOTING.  On her son. She fired one shot, but fortunately she missed . . . and she was arrested for aggravated assault with a firearm. The cops eventually found her phone . . . it was at her house all along. 



(Gainesville Sun



(Here's her mugshot.)

Kaden's Crazy News: A Drunk Woman Proposes to Her Designated Driver, Then Steals His Car When He Says No

As a designated driver, you expect to deal with some drunken yelling, maybe even some drunken puking.  But this is a whole other level . . .



A group of friends near Minneapolis went out drinking on Saturday and headed home around 3:00 A.M.  We don't know the driver's name.  But they were in his Hummer.  And one of the people he was dropping off was a 29-year-old woman named Panhia Vang.  (We're not sure, but we think it's pronounced PAH-nee-uh Vaing.)



But when they got to her place, she didn't jump out right away . . . and instead asked the guy to MARRY HER.  (???)  Then after he declined, she slid into the driver's seat and TOOK OFF.



Another designated driver had followed them to her place.  So the guy jumped in that car, and they followed her about three miles before she stopped.



At that point, he started YELLING at her to get out.  And he grabbed the roof rack, so she couldn't leave.  Which wasn't a great idea, because she floored it AGAIN and hit 80 miles an hour while he was still holding on.



He eventually lost his grip and suffered several broken bones.  His friends in the other car got him to a hospital.  Then Panhia got arrested when she showed up to VISIT him the next day.  She's facing several charges, including theft of a motor vehicle. 



(Pioneer Press / Mercury News)



(Here's her mugshot.)

Kaden's Crazy News: A Man Scaled a Family's Balcony While Trying to "Follow the Music" to Find His Friend's Party

This guy really should have asked for an exact address.  It would have saved him a trip to jail.  He also could have just not gone the Spider-Man route . . .



25-year-old Daniel Blair was headed to a party in Racine, Wisconsin on Saturday, but he'd never been to the apartment before.  So his friend told him to just follow the sound of the music when he got there.



And that's what he did.  But he couldn't get into the complex.  So he decided to scale the side of a balcony and CLIMB up to where the music was coming from.



Unfortunately, he ended up on someone else's balcony, and came face-to-face with a 12-year-old girl.



He tried to explain what he was doing.  But the girl's mom FREAKED OUT when she saw him, and probably thought he was breaking in.



It's not clear if she pushed him or what.  But she caused him to FALL off the balcony.  Then she called the cops.



When they got there, Daniel was still walking around looking for the party.  He's facing charges for disorderly conduct. 


Kaden's Crazy News: A Guy Sued His Ex-Girlfriend After He Got a Huge Scholarship, and She Never Told Him About It

 I think it's safe to say these two will never be getting back together.  Back in 2013, a Canadian guy named Eric Abramovitz applied for a scholarship at a music school in L.A.  He plays clarinet, and he'd already won a bunch of competitions.



And the scholarship would have allowed him to study under one of the best clarinet teachers in the world.  But unfortunately, he got an email that said he'd been rejected.



Then over a year later, he ended up auditioning for the same teacher . . . and found out he HAD actually been accepted, but never knew it.



It turned out his girlfriend at the time saw an email that said he'd won a FULL, $50,000 scholarship.  And she DELETED it, because she didn't want him to move away.



They broke up for unrelated reasons about a year later.  And he never knew about the scholarship until he met the teacher.



So Eric sued his ex, claiming the scholarship would have set him up to make a lot more money as a musician.  And a judge agreed, awarding him $350,000 in damages.



Eric doesn't know if he'll ever see any of that money though, because his ex blocked him on social media, disappeared, and no one's been able to track her down. 

Kaden's Crazy News: A Car Thief Is Busted With a Small Pet Monkey Clinging to His Chest

We're not sure what was distracting this car thief so much that he crashed . . . but we've definitely got a guess.



A 23-year-old guy named Cody Hession stole a car out of someone's driveway in St. Petersburg, Florida early Friday morning.  And he drove it about 35 miles to Holiday, Florida before he crashed in a ditch.



He ran, but the cops quickly tracked him down.  And . . . they found he had a small MONKEY in a diaper clinging to his chest.



He said he'd bought the monkey from a breeder in South Carolina, but he didn't have an exotic animal permit.



So Cody was arrested for auto theft and he may also be looking at charges for possession of an unlicensed monkey.



As the cops were cuffing Cody and getting ready to take him to jail, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission came to take possession of the monkey.  And they let him and Cody have one last goodbye kiss on the lips. 



(The Smoking Gun)

Kaden Crazy News: A Guy Set Fire to an American Flag Blanket Over Memorial Day Weekend and Started a Wildfire

Well this is the most un-American crime we've seen in a while . . .



Some idiot in Ephrata, Washington set fire to an American flag blanket over Memorial Day weekend.



It happened on Sunday, and the act of burning a flag ISN'T actually a crime.  It's protected under Free Speech.  But the fire SPREAD, and he accidentally started a WILDFIRE that burned about five acres.



Luckily firefighters put it out before it hit any houses, and no one was hurt.



It's still not clear if it was a political statement or what.  But if he just HAPPENED to be burning an American flag blanket around Memorial Day, that's a pretty big coincidence.



There's no word yet on what charges he might be facing.



(NBC News / Newsweek)

Kaden Crazy News: A Woman Says She Didn't Lead the Cops on a High-Speed Chase . . . Her Doppelganger Must've Stolen Her Car

Occam's razor says that the simplest explanation is almost always the right one.  This woman does NOT believe in Occam's razor.



The cops in Waukesha, Wisconsin got into a high-speed chase with a woman last week, where she was going 85 miles-an-hour through construction zones.  She actually got away, but then she ditched the car and ran.



The cops found a cell phone in the car belonging to a 37-year-old woman named Dianna Warchol.  They also found a receipt from Walgreens, and they reviewed the security footage from the store and saw a woman who looked like Dianna.



But . . . when they went to her house, she said it WASN'T her.  Yes, she'd driven the car to Walgreens.  Yes, she'd left her cell phone in there.  But no, she wasn't driving in the chase.



She said someone who looks exactly like her must've stolen the car and gotten into a chase with the cops.  And, she said, it happens to her all the time . . . people always get her mixed up with other women.



For some reason, the cops didn't buy her doppelganger car thief theory . . . and Dianna was arrested and charged with attempting to flee and driving with a suspended license.  She could get up to three-and-a-half years in prison. 

A Guy Set Fire to an American Flag Blanket Over Memorial Day Weekend and Started a Wildfire

Well this is the most un-American crime we've seen in a while . . .



Some idiot in Ephrata, Washington set fire to an American flag blanket over Memorial Day weekend.



It happened on Sunday, and the act of burning a flag ISN'T actually a crime.  It's protected under Free Speech.  But the fire SPREAD, and he accidentally started a WILDFIRE that burned about five acres.



Luckily firefighters put it out before it hit any houses, and no one was hurt.



It's still not clear if it was a political statement or what.  But if he just HAPPENED to be burning an American flag blanket around Memorial Day, that's a pretty big coincidence.



There's no word yet on what charges he might be facing.



(NBC News / Newsweek)

Kaden Crazy News: The Owner of a Music Store Gave a Kid a Free Trumpet Because His Mom Couldn't Afford It

This happened almost a decade ago, but the guy didn't know about it until he found this letter . . .



21-year-old Jacques Ruffin is from the Orlando area.  (It's pronounced Juh-kwees.)  He started playing the trumpet in middle school.  And his mom couldn't afford to buy him one, so she rented one from a music store called the Allegro Music Centre.



Recently, he was going through a closet in her home when he found a letter from the owner of the store, a guy named James Jones.



It turns out his mom had gotten behind on payments at one point, and couldn't catch up.  So James sent her a letter that said he was GIVING Jacques the $800 trumpet, because he didn't want him to have to give it up.



He just asked her to return it if Jacques ever lost interest, so another kid could get a chance to learn.  But that never happened, because he never quit.  He's still playing the same trumpet James gave him.



And here's how one good deed leads to another.  The letter inspired Jacques to start a GoFundMe page to buy instruments for OTHER underprivileged kids.  If you want to donate, just search for "Instruments for Students in Need" on 






(Here's the letter.)


Kaden Crazy News: A Woman Got Away From the Cops, Bragged About It on Their Facebook Page . . . and Was Quickly Arrested

If you're a minor criminal, there's really NOTHING that's more effective for getting the cops to hunt you down than this.



Last week, the cops in Moses Lake, Washington pulled over a 27-year-old guy named Giovanni Powell for driving with a suspended license.



A 19-year-old woman named Kayla Irizzary was in the car, and since she wasn't breaking any laws, the cops let her go.



But then they searched the car, and they found her purse . . . which had her ID, a gun, and some heroin.  She's a convicted felon, so she can't own a gun.



Meanwhile, when she got home, she hopped on the police department's Facebook page and BRAGGED about how she got away from them.   So, of course, they started focusing on finding her.  



And on Saturday, they tracked her down and arrested her after a quick chase.



She's facing charges for unlawful possession of a firearm and possession of heroin. 

KADEN CRAZY NEWS: A Barber Throws a Client Through the Window For Complaining About His Haircut

I'm always afraid to tell the person cutting my hair that I don't like what they're doing . . . they have a LOT of sharp objects around.  But here's a sharp object I never even thought of.



A 33-year-old guy was at a barbershop in Brooklyn, New York on Thursday afternoon, and he told his barber that he didn't like the haircut . . . and he even threatened not to pay for it.



And the barber responded by . . . throwing him THROUGH the front window of the shop.



The guy's face got messed up pretty badly by the glass and he was taken to the hospital in an ambulance.



The barber ran off, and the other people at the shop said they didn't know his name or how to reach him . . . so the cops are trying to track him down

KADEN CRAZY NEWS :A Woman Used Her Boyfriend's Full Name in Her Graffiti Love Messages

I'll never get why people think spray-painting someone's name on public property proves their love.  How is graffiti romantic?  But this takes it to a whole new level of dumb . . .



Earlier this week, a 28-year-old woman named Brittany Ann Clenney took a can of purple spray paint to a new park that recently opened in Santa Rosa Beach, Florida.  (About 70 miles east of Pensacola.)



And she caused $10,000 in damages by covering the place in love messages for her boyfriend, John.



She spray-painted stuff on the side of a wooden dock that was just installed . . . on some big rocks next to it . . . on the side of a wall . . . and on a giant column for a huge overhead bridge.



But unfortunately for Brittany, the cops were easily able to figure out who did it . . . because she used John's FULL NAME in one of the messages.



It said, quote, "John Ryan Wilson, you stole my heart.  And I love it."  Then one of her other messages was signed "Brittany Ann."



The cops tracked her down on Tuesday, and she still had purple paint on one of her arms.  She's facing a felony charge for criminal mischief. 



(Walton County Sheriff's Office / WEAR)

Kaden Crazy News: A Burglar Is Caught on a Security Camera Stopping to Dance in the Middle of His Break-In

I guess you never know when the rhythm is gonna get ya.



Earlier this month, a guy named David Seale broke into a law firm in Fresno, California.  And after he got into the lobby, something must've come over him . . . because he stopped what he was doing for nine seconds to DANCE.



The security camera in the lobby got a perfect shot of him popping and locking . . . maybe popping the lock to the door inspired him?  Then he went back to his break-in.



He wound up stealing a laptop and a bunch of keys . . . and the cops tracked him down quickly and arrested him.



He was charged with burglary.


KADEN CRAZY NEWS :A Man Tries to Hide His Legless Fugitive Girlfriend Inside a Plastic Storage Container

Well this is a new one.



The cops and U.S. Marshals in Florida were looking for a 39-year-old fugitive named Krystle Lee Anderson last Tuesday, and they had a lead that she was staying at her boyfriend's house.  He's a 48-year-old named John Carr in Winter Haven, Florida.



Krystle doesn't have LEGS . . . and when authorities went to the house, they spotted John trying to cram Krystle into a plastic storage bin.



It's not clear what the plan was . . . like, were they going to put her on a shelf with the Christmas decorations and old DVDs and hope the cops wouldn't notice?



Anyway, they were both arrested.



Krystle lost her legs in a police shootout back in 2015, when she held up a Burger King.  She pointed a gun at the cops, they shot her, and apparently her legs had to be amputated as a result.  Her gun turned out to be a BB gun.



But she never showed in court after that to face her kidnapping and assault charges, and there's been a warrant out for her ever since. 



(Lakeland Ledger



(Here's her mugshot.  She looks weirdly like B.J. Noak from "The Office".)



Kaden Crazy News A Guy Steals a TV From Walmart . . . Then Asks the Cops For a Ride Home

his guy is either the BOLDEST criminal we've seen in a while, or the dumbest.  There's no third option.



A 24-year-old guy named Tayvon Wilson went to a Walmart in Columbus, Georgia last week . . . picked up a 55-inch Samsung TV . . . and walked out of the store through the car department without paying.



But a 55-inch TV is pretty heavy and bulky, and apparently he was having trouble carrying it as he walked home.



So he saw two police officers and asked them if they'd give him . . . and his TV . . . a ride home.  Wow.



That was right around when the cops got a call from the Walmart about the missing TV.  They connected the dots . . . and Tayvon was arrested for shoplifting. 



(Columbus Ledger-Enquirer)



(Here's his mugshot.)


Kaden Crazy News : A Woman at a 7-Eleven Tries to Heat Up Pee For a Drug Test . . . But It Explodes in the Microwave

 This is one of those moments that HAS to make someone re-evaluate what their life has become.



There's a 26-year-old woman named Angelique Sanchez from Aurora, Colorado, and she was trying to get a job at a health clinic last week.  She needed to take a drug test for the job . . . and apparently, Angelique knew she'd fail.



So . . . she got her hands on someone else's pee.  But she knew it had to be WARM or the testers would know she'd smuggled it in . . . so she took it to a 7-Eleven before her test to heat it up in their microwave.



And . . . it EXPLODED.



So Angelique bolted, and the 7-Eleven clerk found a bunch of yellow liquid dripping from the microwave.  He realized what it was and called the cops . . . and they tracked Angelique down at her job interview down the street.



She's facing one count of damaging property . . . and, spoiler alert, now that the health clinic knows about this story she's PROBABLY not getting that job. 



(NBC 9 - Denver





(Here's her mugshot.)



Kaden Crazy News: A Man Forgot His Anniversary . . . So His Wife Beat Him Up

This isn't the first guy to forget his anniversary and have to scramble to make something happen.  It just doesn't sound like he scrambled hard enough . . . and his wife might be a crazy person.



A 41-year-old near Tampa named Ronnie Alexander woke up last Wednesday, and immediately got in a fight with his wife Carol because he forgot it was their wedding anniversary.



Luckily he had to go to work.  Which gave him a chance to plan something for LATER in the day.



But when he got home from work, he showed up with a SINGLE ROSE.  And he said he was GOING to book a hotel somewhere for the weekend.  But it doesn't sound like he'd actually booked anything yet.



Shortly after that, Carol LOST IT . . . hit him multiple times . . . and he ended up with scratches on his neck and chest.



When police questioned her, she admitted that she, quote, "flipped the [S-word] out" on him.  She's facing charges for misdemeanor domestic battery.



(The Smoking Gun)


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