Qabilene Updates

Kaden's Crazy News: A Guy Jumps Off an Overpass to Avoid a DUI Checkpoint . . . Turns Out He Wasn't Even Drunk

Anytime you see a cop and PANIC, your chances of doing something dumb skyrocket . . .

 

 

A guy in China was driving down the highway last Thursday when he saw a DUI checkpoint up ahead.  And he was worried he'd fail a breathalyzer, so he BAILED.

 

 

He parked his van on the side of the road . . . left it there . . . and tried to get away by jumping off an OVERPASS.

 

 

He ended up breaking his leg, and cops got him to a hospital.  But the dumbest part is he WASN'T EVEN DRUNK.

 

 

He said he'd been drinking the night before, and was worried there might still be alcohol in his system.  But when they tested him at the hospital, he was completely sober.

 

 

To be fair, China has pretty strict DUI laws, and a blood alcohol level of 0.02% can get your license revoked.  But the test showed he had NO alcohol in his system.

 

 

It's not clear if he's facing any charges for fleeing police or not. 

 

 

(Shanghaiist)


Kaden's Crazy News: A Grandma Mayor Shoots and Kills an Alligator to Get Revenge For It Killing Her Miniature Horse

 I have a feeling NO ONE is going to mess with the town of Livingston, Texas and its little old lady mayor after this.

 

 

The new mayor of Livingston is a 73-year-old woman named Judy Cochran.  She's a grandmother . . . and also, apparently, a vigilante badass with a thirst for vengeance.

 

 

About three years ago, her miniature horse was killed by an alligator.  She knew the gator that did it . . . he's a 12-foot, 580-pound beast who lives in the river along her ranch.

 

 

And this year, she decided to get revenge.  But gator hunting season only lasts for three weeks, and it's right now, so she had to act fast.  On Monday, she put a dead raccoon in her backyard as bait, and waited for the gator.

 

 

And when the giant alligator took the bait, Judy killed him with one shot to the head.  Now he's at a taxidermist, because Judy is having his head stuffed to hang on her wall . . . and she's going to make his body into boots. 

 

 

(Fort Worth Star-Telegram

 

 

(Here's a picture of her with the gator.)


A Man Has His Toddler Climb Into an Arcade Prize Machine to Steal a Bunch of Toys

 I'm not sure one of the joys of being a parent is "now you've got a tiny criminal accomplice."  So this is a new one...

 

 

The police in Salem, New Hampshire are looking for a guy who used his toddler to steal a bunch of prizes from an arcade machine at a mall on Friday night.

 

 

The game is called BarBerCut Lite, and it's kind of like a claw machine . . . only instead of dropping a metal claw to try to grab a stuffed animal, you press buttons to try to make two pairs of scissors cut a string holding a prize.

 

 

It looks damn near impossible to win, and it probably is, since some of the prizes they have on display are really expensive things like a Nintendo Switch.

 

 

But because there are big prizes, there's also a big prize slot on the machine . . . so this guy had his young daughter crawl through the hole and pass him a bunch of the toys, electronics, and gift cards.  Then they took off.

 

 

Several people took videos as it was going on, and the cops are reviewing them now while they try to track down this guy. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(New Hampshire Union Leader / Boston Globe

 

 

(Here are pictures from one of the videos.)


A Couple Gets Busted Shoplifting Clothes From Walmart . . . To Wear to a Court Appearance

 I'm not sure this couple QUITE thought through the logic behind their plan.

 

 

There's a 25-year-old woman named Heather Murphy from Wareham, Massachusetts, and she had a court appearance on Wednesday for driving with a suspended license last month.

 

 

Her 33-year-old boyfriend Jason Willoughby was going with her to court, and they wanted to make sure they looked good.

 

 

So last Tuesday, they went to Walmart . . . and SHOPLIFTED some nice court clothes.

 

 

But they got caught by a security guard, and the cops came and busted them as they were trying to leave the store.

 

 

They were both arrested for shoplifting. 

 

 

(South Coast Today / Cape Cod Today

 

 

(Here are their mugshots.)


Kaden's Crazy News: A Guy Sings "Don't Stop Believin'" on His Journey to Jail

There's a 25-year-old guy named Seth Coffey in Vero Beach, Florida, and the cops pulled him over earlier this month as he was driving up and down a boulevard.

 

 

It turned out he had a blood-alcohol level that was three times the legal limit, so they arrested him for drunk driving.

 

 

And as they drove him to jail, he asked the cops to put on some music.  But they wouldn't do it.

 

 

So Seth decided to provide the music HIMSELF . . . and he started singing "Don't Stop Believin'".

 

 

What ELSE would be appropriate on a JOURNEY to jail?  Puns are the highest form of comedy.

 

 

Anyway, Seth is facing a DUI charge. 

 

 

(Treasure Coast Palm

 

 

(Here's his mugshot.)


Kaden's Crazy News: A Woman Pranks Her Husband by Claiming They Won the Lottery . . . Then It Happens for Real Three Weeks Later

 About a month ago, a 28-year-old woman in England named Charlotte Peart told her husband Daniel that she hit the lottery for over $300,000.  Then she laughed at him when he realized it was just a prank.

 

 

Apparently they pull pranks on each other a lot.  And this time, he fell for it.

 

 

Then early last week, she called him at work and claimed she'd won an even BIGGER jackpot.

 

 

It sounds like he was sick of it at that point.  Because he passed the phone off to someone else to let her screw with them.

 

 

But then she sent him a screenshot that showed they really HAD hit the lottery for a MILLION POUNDS . . . or just under $1.3 million.

 

 

They claimed their prize last Tuesday.  They're planning to use a large chunk of the money to buy a bigger house.  And their three kids are pumped, because they finally get to have their own bedrooms. 

 

 

(Sky News)

 

 

(Here they are with their giant check.)

 


Kaden's Crazy News: A Restaurant Offers People Their Age as a Percent-Off Birthday Discount . . . So a 109-Year-Old Woman Got Paid to Eat There

Now THIS is how you take advantage of a discount.

 

 

There's a restaurant called the Montana Club in Missoula, Montana.  And they have a deal where if you eat there on your birthday, you get your age as a percent-off discount.  So if you're turning 29, you'd get 29% off.

 

 

And that discount has worked out GREAT for a woman named Helen Self.  She just turned 109 . . . so when she went to the restaurant, she didn't just get her meal free, she also got 9% of the cost back in cash.

 

 

She's actually been going there for her birthday every year since she turned 100.

 

 

And the owner says that even though she found a hell of a loophole on the discount, he's happy to take care of her every year. 

 

 

(ABC 23 - Missoula

 

 

(Here's a picture of her at the restaurant.)


Kaden's Crazy News: A Burglar Is Caught When His Getaway Truck Gets Stuck in a Huge Pile of Manure

FULL STORY:  I'm not sure there's a crappier way to get busted for a crime than this.  That's a high-quality pun, by they way, which will make sense in just a second.

 

 

The cops in Stearns County, Minnesota got a call last week about a burglary at a farm.  And when they got there, they found the burglar, 29-year-old Matthew Bloomquist, hadn't gotten very far . . . in fact, his pickup truck was still on the property.

 

 

Why?  Because when he tried to drive away with a bunch of stolen lumber, he accidentally got stuck . . . in a giant pile of MANURE.

 

 

And it gets worse.  Apparently he tried to run away, but he sunk waist-deep into the manure, and his shoes CAME OFF in the pile.

 

 

That's the point when he gave up, so when the cops got there, they found him standing next to the pile, barefoot, covered in manure up to his waist, smoking a cigarette.  He was arrested for burglary and possession of stolen property.

 

 

Unfortunately for the cops, even though they hosed him off before they threw him in jail, they say their police station STILL reeks today . . . even though they've kept the windows open and sprayed a ton of Febreze. 

 

 

(Twin Cities Pioneer Press)

 

 

(Here's Matthew's mugshot and a picture of his truck stuck in the manure.)

 

 


Kaden's Crazy News: A Woman Pressed Charges After Her Drunk Boyfriend Gave Her a Wet Willy

This guy used an old-school bullying tactic with his girlfriend, and it did NOT go over well . . .

 

 

A 47-year-old idiot in Fort Pierce, Florida named Joseph Sireci was lying on the living room floor DRUNK when his girlfriend got home from work earlier this month.

 

 

Then he started arguing with her and being "rude," so she decided to go hang out at a friend's house.  But he tagged along and kept drinking while they were there.

 

 

Then while she was driving them back home, he reached over and gave her a WET WILLY.  And now he's facing battery charges for it.

 

 

When they got home, he kept being belligerent and also threw some stuff.  So she called the cops.

 

 

It's not clear if they're still dating, or if she dumped him.

 

 

(Miami Herald / TC Palm)

 

 

(Here's his mugshot.)

 


Kaden's Crazy News:A Guy Fakes a Heart Attack to Get a Free Ride to the Hospital Cafeteria

It's not a crime to like hospital food.  But anyone who likes it this much deserves to be in jail . . .

 

 

Someone at a convenience store in Kentucky called 911 last Friday after a 35-year-old idiot named Kenneth Couch claimed he was having a heart attack.

 

 

But it turned out he was fine.  He just wanted a free ride to the hospital, so he could hit up their CAFETERIA.

 

 

When paramedics got him there, he hopped out of the ambulance and walked straight in to get some grub.

 

 

Police showed up and arrested him for making a false report.  They also charged him in connection with a stolen gun he apparently took from someone's house.  And he also had an active warrant out for writing bad checks.

 

 

So it looks like he'll be heading to jail for a while.  But I guess the silver lining is Ken's discerning palate now gets to give prison food a go.

 

 

(Kentucky.com)

 

 

(Here's his mugshot.)

 


Kaden's Crazy News: A Guy Just Pleaded Guilty to Smuggling Six Pounds of Cocaine Inside a Neck Pillow

There's a 21-year-old guy named Rafael Perdomo, and last October, he flew from the Dominican Republic to Newark, New Jersey.

 

 

But Customs stopped him and a woman flying with him because of their suspiciously heavy travel NECK PILLOWS.

 

 

And they were right to be suspicious . . . it turned out the pillows had more than six-and-a-half pounds of cocaine inside.

 

 

Rafael just pleaded guilty last week to a drug conspiracy charge, so he's facing between five and 40 years in prison. 

 

 

(NJ Advance Media)


Kaden's Crazy News: A Woman Posed as an Out-of-State Deputy to Break Her Boyfriend Out of Jail

Call me old-fashioned, but I miss the days when women used to try to break their boyfriends out of jail by baking them a cake and hiding a file inside.  I also miss bank robbers using bags with dollar signs on them, but that's not important here.

 

 

There's a 23-year-old guy named Nicholas Lowe, and he was arrested last month in Fayetteville, Arkansas for a criminal impersonation warrant he was facing in Ventura, California.  But he came up with one hell of a scheme to get out.

 

 

Two days after he was arrested, he talked his 30-year-old girlfriend Maxine Feldstein into calling the jail pretending to be a deputy from California . . . and she even sent them forged paperwork saying to release Nicholas.

 

 

The reason she gave is their jails were overcrowded, so they were dropping, quote, "low-priority extraditions."

 

 

And somehow the scheme WORKED, and Nicholas was released.  But a few days later, the ACTUAL deputies from Ventura County called to arrange a pickup for Nicholas . . . and they figured out what happened.

 

 

The cops tracked down Nicholas and Maxine last week.  They were still in Arkansas, and were both arrested on several charges. 

 

 

(Northwest Arkansas Democrat Gazette

 

 

(Here are their mugshots.)


Kaden's Crazy News: A Guy Posed As the Ghost of His Ex's Mother to Try to Win Her Back

This might be one of the CRAZIEST schemes we've heard of to try to get someone back after a break-up.

 

 

There's a 51-year-old guy named Roy Meadwell in Yeovil, England.  And back in 2016, he was engaged to a woman named Kay Wimbury . . . but she broke things off.

 

 

He kept trying to get her back, and it got so bad that she got a restraining order against him.

 

 

But last summer, he came up with one more big scheme.  He wrote her a letter pretending to be the GHOST of her dead mother . . . and in the letter, he told Kay she should get back together with Roy.

 

 

She realized that the letter WASN'T coming from beyond the grave . . . and she went to the cops.

 

 

Roy was just sentenced to four months in prison for violating the restraining order, but the sentence is suspended as long as he doesn't break the restraining order again . . . in the physical world OR the spirit world. 

 

 

(BBC

 

 

(Here's his photo.)

 


Kaden's Crazy News: A Woman Proves to Her Friends She Can Run in Heels and Gets Hit by a Car

Here's why you should never accept a dare when you've been drinking.  No matter how innocent it seems, nothing good will come of it . . .

 

 

A lady in Austin, Texas was walking home from a bar with her friends on Saturday.  And one of them doubted whether she could run in the HIGH HEELS she was wearing.

 

 

So she broke into a full sprint to prove them wrong . . . ran into an intersection . . . and got hit by an SUV.

 

 

She ended up in the hospital with a brain bleed and needed surgery.

 

 

But the driver of the SUV is facing a felony charge.  Not because he hit her, but because he left the scene of the accident.

 

 

He eventually came back.  But they arrested him for not stopping to render aid.

 

 

So ironically, if HE hadn't tried to run, he might not have been charged at all. 

 

 

(Fox News)


Kaden Crazy News: A Golfer Is Charged with "Mayhem" After Biting Another Golfer's Thumb Off

 If you're accused of causing "mayhem" on a golf course, you're doing something wrong . . .

 

 

Two groups of golfers got into a brawl on a public golf course in Plymouth, Massachusetts on Friday.  (About 40 miles southeast of Boston.)

 

 

And a 47-year-old guy in one of the groups bit another guy's THUMB off.

 

 

It's not clear how it started, or what they were fighting about.  But he took the guy's thumb off down to his knuckle.

 

 

He's facing a charge for "mayhem" . . . which in Massachusetts means a, quote, "malicious intent to maim or disfigure."  And he could face up to 20 years in prison for it.

 

 

The guy who lost his thumb was treated at a nearby hospital.  Apparently his friends put his thumb on ice.  But we still haven't heard if doctors were able to reattach it.


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Kaden's Crazy News: A Group of Angry Cows Assisted with an Arrest

Cops near Orlando got into a high-speed chase with three people in a stolen SUV Monday night.

 

 

They eventually crashed the SUV into a ditch, and two of them got arrested.  But a passenger named Jennifer Kaufman tried to get away on foot and ran into a huge field nearby.  Which probably seemed like a good idea at the time.

 

 

But what she didn't know was the field had a bunch of angry COWS in it.  And when they saw her, they freaked out and started CHASING her.

 

 

A police helicopter got the whole thing on video.  You can see her running with about 20 cows right on her heels.

 

 

One of them got really close to her at one point.  And a cop in the helicopter even said it looked like she might get attacked.

 

 

Luckily for her, that didn't happen.  But they did chase her to a fence.  And when she got past it, the cops were right there waiting on the other side.

 

 

She and the driver are both facing charges for trespassing, theft, drug possession, and resisting arrest. 

 

 

(WKMG / Fox News)

 

 

(Here's Jennifer's mugshot.)


Kaden's Crazy News: A Guy Tries to Get a KFC to Reopen at Gunpoint

This is what happens when someone from Florida goes anywhere else in the world.  They try to pull Florida moves in other places . . . and Florida moves don't work anywhere else.

 

 

There's a 27-year-old guy named Antonio Stevens from Orlando, Florida, and he was in Dover, Delaware for some reason on Sunday.  And I guess he wanted to sample the best food Delaware has to offer . . . so he went to KFC.

 

 

But he got there at 11:15 P.M., which was more than an hour after it had closed.

 

 

So he pulled out a GUN and told an employee who was outside to open it back up.

 

 

When she wouldn't do it, he tried to steal her stuff . . . but he wound up running away empty handed.

 

 

The cops eventually tracked him down and he was arrested for first-degree robbery and resisting arrest. 

 

 

(Delaware Online

 

 

(Here's his mugshot.)


Kaden's Crazy News: A Guy Is Busted For Fleeing From the Cops Thanks to His Ringtone . . . the Theme Song to "COPS"

Today we've got the story of a 28-year-old guy named Sean Kelley from Spokane Valley, Washington who will appreciate the irony of what happened to him one day.  One day.

 

 

Last month, Sean was speeding when a cop tried to pull him over.  Sean wouldn't stop, and after a quick chase, he quickly pulled into a parking lot and ran into a sports bar.

 

 

The cops went in there to look for him, and someone pointed him out.  He gave them his info, including his name and his phone number, but he SWORE he wasn't driving . . . he said he'd been in the bar all night.

 

 

The cops noticed there was a phone on the driver's seat of the car they'd been chasing.  So, just as a test, they called the number Sean gave them.  And that phone started ringing.

 

 

But it gets even better.  Sean had a custom ringtone . . . "Bad Boys" by Inner Circle, which everyone knows as the theme song from the TV show "COPS".

 

 

Sean was arrested for attempting to elude a police vehicle, obstruction, and driving with a suspended license. 

 

 

(NBC 6 - Spokane)


Kaden's Crazy News: A Man Got Into a High-Speed Chase Because He Really Needed to Poop

 We don't know if this guy's excuse was true or not.  But if you've ever been in this situation, you don't always think straight . . .

 

 

Cops in Yakima, Washington saw a 32-year-old guy named Marlowe Olney blow through a stop sign last Wednesday.  And they tried to pull him over, but he wouldn't stop.  (Yakima is about 150 miles southeast of Seattle.)

 

 

So it turned into a high-speed chase in the middle of a residential area.  And he refused to slow down until he finally lost control and CRASHED into an abandoned house.

 

 

After that, he took off on foot, but they caught up to him.  And when they asked why he ran, he said he didn't have a choice . . . because he was in the middle of an emergency BATHROOM situation.  In other words, he really needed to poop.

 

 

Obviously a bathroom emergency doesn't qualify as a REAL emergency.  So he also claimed he couldn't stop because his car didn't have brakes.

 

 

The cops didn't buy it though, and they arrested him.

 

 

No word on how long he had to wait before he finally got to use a bathroom. 

 

 

(KIMA)


Kaden's Crazy News: A Bank Robber Changes His Mind and Tries to Open an Account Instead

Sometimes it really IS too late to do the right thing.

 

 

A guy walked into a Valley National Bank branch in Bayonne, New Jersey last Friday afternoon, and he slipped a note to the teller saying this was a ROBBERY and they needed to give him, quote, "all the money."

 

 

But just as the teller started reading the note, apparently the guy CHANGED HIS MIND about robbing the bank.  So he snatched the note back and said he was there to open an account.

 

 

Unfortunately for him, the teller saw enough of the note to realize what his original plan was . . . so they tried to stall him until the cops could come.

 

 

But the guy managed to run away before the cops got there . . . and before he could open a new account.

 

 

The police are investigating. 

 

 

(Jersey Journal)


Kaden's Crazy News Update: Cops Caught the People Who Stole a Shark By Dressing It Like a Baby, and the Shark Is Alive

In case you missed thison Saturday afternoon, three people stole a small SHARK from the San Antonio Aquarium in Texas by swaddling it like a baby and pushing it away in a stroller.

 

 

Well, there's some good news.  First of all, the cops managed to track down the thieves and they've been arrested for theft.

 

 

And second, thankfully, the shark is okay . . . and she's back in her tank at the aquarium.  The staff is observing her to make sure she's healthy.

 

 

Apparently one of the guys who stole the shark took her home and put her in his aquarium.  According to the cops, the guy was able to keep her alive because he, quote, "knew what he was doing."

 

 

Also, it turns out the shark's name is Miss Helen.  Maybe that last thing isn't an IMPORTANT development in the story, but it's one we're really glad we know. 

 

 

(San Antonio Express-News)


Kaden's Crazy News: Thieves Stole a Shark From an Aquarium by Swaddling It Like a Baby and Pushing It Out in a Stroller

Well this is just about the WORST way to celebrate the end of Shark Week.

 

 

Two men and a woman went to the San Antonio Aquarium in Texas on Saturday afternoon . . . and they grabbed a three-foot horn shark out of its tank.

 

 

Then they swaddled it in a blanket like a baby . . . put it in a STROLLER . . . and walked right out with it.

 

 

And it was a damn good heist, because the staff at the aquarium didn't realize the shark was missing for 45 minutes.

 

 

The cops have surveillance footage of the thieves and they're trying to track them down . . . but everyone's worried about the shark's chances of surviving.

 

 

Horn sharks can only survive out of water for maybe an hour or two, and they need to be in warm saltwater . . . so if the thieves didn't have a tank ready for it nearby, it could be in serious danger. 

 

 

(Deadspin

 

 

(Here's a surveillance shot of the thieves.)


Kaden's Crazy News: A Guy Committed Identity Theft to Upgrade a Restaurant's Cable Package to Watch an Arizona Wildcats Game

This MIGHT just be the dumbest identity theft case we've heard.

                                                                               

 

There's a 51-year-old guy named Kevin Cayton from Arlington Heights, Illinois.  And last December, he was taking a trip to Lake Delton, Wisconsin.

 

 

Well . . . Kevin is a big fan of the University of Arizona Wildcats basketball team.  And he wanted to make sure he could watch one of their games while he was on his trip.

 

 

So he researched a restaurant called Buffalo Phil's in Lake Delton . . . figured out Charter Spectrum was their cable company . . . and called Charter 11 times, pretending to be an employee, to upgrade their cable package to add the PAC-12 Network.

 

 

But he never bothered to call Charter back to cancel the PAC-12 Network . . . so in February, the owner of Buffalo Phil's noticed the cable bill was really high and started looking into it.

 

 

The cops got involved, and after an investigation they figured out what happened.  And they just arrested Kevin last month for felony identity theft.  He's looking at up to 12 YEARS in prison.  Over one college basketball game. 

 

 

(Based on the dates, it appears the game he watched was Arizona versus Arizona State on December 30th.  Bright side:  Arizona won, 84-78.)


Kaden's Crazy News: A Man Tries to Bribe a Bunch of Cops by Offering Them Free Donuts

It almost seems like this guy cooked up his plan a while ago.  Like he had it in his back pocket just IN CASE he ever got arrested . . .

 

 

Police in Frederick, Maryland spotted two guys walking around last Thursday, peering through the windows of parked cars looking for stuff to steal.  So they stopped them, then one of them tried to take off.

 

 

The guy was a 25-year-old named Matt Rosenberg, and he ended up getting into a physical altercation with one of the cops.  Then they found a small bag of pot and an air pistol when they arrested him.

 

 

So at that point, he decided to go all in . . . and tried to BRIBE the cops by offering them free DONUTS.

 

 

He told them he worked at Krispy Kreme, and that he'd give them donuts if they let him go.  And he made the offer to multiple cops during the arrest.

 

 

He's facing charges for resisting arrest and attempting to bribe a public official.  But he probably could have avoided the whole thing if he just hadn't panicked.

 

 

He and his buddy hadn't actually broken into any cars yet.  So his friend WASN'T arrested, and the cops let him go. 

 

 

(Frederick News-Post)

 

 

(Here's Matt's mugshot.)

 


Kaden's Crazy News: A Woman Is Busted For Drunk Driving . . . And So Is the Tow Truck Driver Who Came to Get Her Car

 I'm not usually one to believe in fate, but there had to be greater forces at play to bring these two people together.

 

 

There's a 51-year-old woman named Patricia O'Donnell, and she was busted in Hyannis, Massachusetts on Saturday night for drunk driving.

 

 

The cops took her off to jail, and they called a tow truck company to come out to get her car.

 

 

The towing company sent a 25-year-old driver named Brandon Fenton to get it.  But it turned out he was ALSO DRUNK . . . so he was also busted for drunk driving.

 

 

There's no word on who finally came to tow Patricia's car . . . and, I guess, Brandon's tow truck too. 

 

 

(Cape Cod Times)

 
 
 
 

 


Kaden's Crazy News: A Man Shares the Same Name and Birthday with a Criminal, and Cops Keep Arresting Him By Mistake

This guy shouldn't HAVE to change his name.  But at this point, he must be thinking about it . . .

 

 

A 34-year-old father of two named Jimmie Williams lives in Victorville, California.  (About 80 miles northeast of L.A.)  And he happens to share the same name as another Jimmie Williams in the area who can't stop breaking the law.

 

 

The GOOD Jimmie has been arrested or detained at least FOUR times in the last 12 years, always for stuff the BAD Jimmie did.  Once in 2006 . . . again in 2009 . . . a third time last month . . . and a fourth time this past Friday on a felony warrant.

 

 

The cops keep making the same mistake because both Jimmies spell their name the same way . . . J-I-M-M-I-E . . . and also have the exact same BIRTHDAY.

 

 

Last Friday was different though.  Because a cop showed up at his door . . . wouldn't listen when he tried to explain . . . and Jimmie RESISTED when they tried to cuff him.

 

 

He's never been arrested for something HE did before.  But now he's facing his own felony charge for obstruction.  And he had to post $2,500 just to get out of jail.

 

 

The whole thing was caught on his doorbell camera, and the cops are working with him to clear things up.  But if the charges stick, he'll have a felony on his record, and could lose his job. 


Kaden's Crazy News: An Apartment's Eviction Notices Uses a Smiling Emoji and People Aren't Happy

 I can definitely see how having your life ruined by a SARCASTIC EMOJI would make someone way angrier than having it ruined, you know, the normal way.

 

 

A person who lives at an apartment notice in Memphis, Tennessee got an eviction notice last week.

 

 

And it was taped to their door on a bright piece of orange paper that said, quote, "Guess who's moving?  YOU!!!" along with big picture of a smiling emoji.

 

 

And even though the person hadn't been paying their rent, other people in the apartment complex think the emoji on the eviction notice was too over-the-top.

 

 

One of their neighbors said, quote, "It's antagonizing and kind of embarrassing." 

 

 

(CBS 8 - Knoxville

 

 

(Here's a picture of the notice.)


Kaden's Crazy News: A Guy Who Got Pulled Over Doing 99 Miles-Per-Hour Tries to Convince the Cop He's Reading the Temperature

This isn't exactly a GOOD excuse for speeding, but . . . um . . . at least it's a topical one?

 

 

A guy got pulled over on a highway in Oakland, California last week for going 99 miles-an-hour in a 65.

 

 

And he told the cop he KNEW he wasn't going that fast . . . so maybe the cop was actually looking at the TEMPERATURE, not the radar speed.

 

 

The cop says that led to a, quote, "awkward silence" . . . and eventually the guy gave up and signed his citation.

 

 

And for what it's worth, the radar gun DID show the temperature on the screen along with the speed . . . but it was only 80.2 degrees, not 99. 

 

 

(UPI

 

 

(Here's a picture of the radar gun.)

 

 


Kaden's Crazy News: A Guy Steals Beer While Wearing a "This Guy Needs a Beer" T-Shirt

 A 53-year-old guy named David Jo Devoss broke into a Dollar General store in the middle of the night last Tuesday in Eustis, Florida.  (About 30 miles northwest of Orlando.)

 

 

And he stole two four-packs of beer . . . while wearing a t-shirt that said, "This Guy Needs a Beer."

 

 

He could have picked any type of beer, but went with Natural Ice . . . because you know you're classy when you're wearing a "This Guy Needs a Beer" shirt.

 

 

Anyway, he got away before the cops got there.  But he strolled back in DRUNK two days later, and tried to steal some smoked sausages.

 

 

The manager recognized him from the security tape . . . because he was still wearing the SAME t-shirt.  (Maybe his "This Guy Needs Some Smoked Sausages" shirt was in the wash?)

 

 

The cops showed up to arrest him, and he admitted to stealing the beer two nights earlier.  He's facing charges for theft, burglary, and criminal mischief. 

 

 

(WTFFlorida.com)

 

 

(Here's his mugshot and a photo of the shirt he was wearing.)

 

 


Kaden's Crazy News: A Guy Steals His Date's Car . . . Then Uses It For Another Date

 I'm not sure if there's a better example of "adding insult to injury" than THIS.

 

 

There's a woman in Memphis named Faith Pugh.  And on Saturday night, she went out with a 21-year-old guy named Kelton Griffin who she knew from back in high school.  He'd texted her out of the blue, asked her out, and she said yes.

 

 

But he showed up without a car, so she had to drive them in her Volvo.  And when she stopped for gas, he asked if she'd run inside to get him a cigar.  She did . . . but while she was inside the store, he STOLE her car.

 

 

That would already make this a hall-of-fame level terrible date.  But it gets even worse.  Because Kelton drove her car . . . to go on a date with ANOTHER GIRL.  And it turns out she's Faith's godsister.

 

 

Anyway, Faith and the cops were able to use GPS to track the car to a drive-in movie theater, where they arrested Kelton for theft of property.

 

 

And as a kicker . . . apparently he'd made Faith's godsister pay for their tickets to the drive-in.  

 

 

(CBS 3 - Memphis

 

 

(Here's his mugshot.)

 


Kaden's Crazy News: Guy Steals a Fire Truck and Winds Up in a Two-Hour Police Chase

How messed up do you have to be to see a bunch of firefighters working to put out a fire and think . . . "You know what would be awesome?  If I stole their truck."

 

 

Some firefighters were putting out a brush fire in Rio Linda, California on Saturday afternoon when a 29-year-old guy named David Carcalete ran up and STOLE their truck.  (Rio Linda is just outside of Sacramento.)

 

 

Then he drove it over to pick up his girlfriend, a 35-year-old woman named Candice Scollard, about a mile away.

 

 

And after that, they had a nice romantic drive through California in the truck.  And by that I mean . . . they got into a TWO-HOUR, 100-mile police chase.

 

 

The cops wound up putting down spike strips, which popped one of the tires . . . but David and Candice kept going without the tire for another half hour until they finally crashed in a ditch.

 

 

They're both facing several charges, including vehicle theft, evading, and possession of stolen property.  And the cops are pretty sure they were both high at the time. 

 

 

(NBC 3 - Sacramento

 

 

(Here are some pictures from the scene.)

 

 


Kaden's Crazy News:A Guy Hides in the Ceiling of a Grocery Store . . . to Escape Cops Who Aren't Even Looking for Him

A guy named James Aubin was arrested for robbing a bank in Dover, New Hampshire last Thursday.  But the REAL story is a 30-year-old named Eric Lombari, who saw the cops and assumed they were after HIM.

 

 

He was out on bail because of a previous drug arrest.  And when he saw police start pouring into the parking lot, he assumed they were there looking for him.

 

 

It's not clear if he'd even done anything wrong.  But he decided to hide in a nearby grocery store.  Which was unlucky, because the cops ALSO went in to see if the store's security cameras got the bank robber on video.

 

 

So at that point, Eric got into a back room, and decided to climb up into the CEILING to hide.  Then he fell THROUGH the ceiling, and was dangling from it right above the deli.

 

 

The cops could see his legs hanging out but couldn't get to him.  So he kept crawling around until the same thing happened again above the refrigerated meats section.

 

 

They eventually had to get up into the ceiling and talk him down.  He's facing charges for criminal mischief, trespassing, and resisting arrest. 

 

 


Kaden's Crazy News: A Woman Wins the Lottery with Her Nephew . . . Now She's Suing Him For His Half

Is family more important than money?  Stop laughing.  Why are you laughing?

 

 

There's a woman named Barb Reddick who lives in Margaree Forks, Nova Scotia, Canada, and her town runs a local lottery that works like a raffle with a huge prize and then a bunch of smaller prizes.

 

 

Well . . . on Wednesday, she won the jackpot with her nephew, Tyrone MacInnis.  Both of their names were on the ticket, so they split the prize of $930,000.

 

 

They each got checks for half, they took smiling pictures, and that should've been their happy family moment.  BUT . . . yesterday, Barb made a hell of a left turn.

 

 

She said she told her nephew they could split the consolation prizes from the lottery . . . but not the grand prize.  So she's going to SUE HIM to get his half of the money.

 

 

She says she doesn't think he deserves the money, and she only put his name on the ticket, quote, "For good luck.  Because he's like a son to me . . . he was." 

 

 

(CTV

 

 

(Here's a picture of them holding the check.  It's Canadian dollars, which is why it says $1.2 million, not $930,000.)


Kaden's Crazy New: A Man Missing a Leg Flees a Burglary in a Car Missing a Tire

 If THIS guy can get away from a crime scene, then anyone can.

 

 

A guy with a prosthetic left leg broke into the leasing office at an apartment complex in Del City, Oklahoma earlier this week.

 

 

It's not clear if he stole anything, but the building manager caught him in the office . . . so he ran off.  Well, it was more like a skipping motion from the security footage, because, again, the missing leg.

 

 

And he got into a Toyota 4 Runner with three regular tires and one spare tire and drove away.

 

 

Yes, the guy who was missing a leg escaped in his car that was missing a tire.  AND IT ALL WORKED.

 

 

The cops are trying to track him down but right now they're . . . pun not intended . . . stumped.


Kaden's Crazy News: A Burglar Breaks Into an Escape Room . . . Then Calls 911 When He Can't Get Out

Oh man, this guy is NEVER going to live this down.

 

 

A 40-year-old guy named Rye Wardlaw in Vancouver, Washington broke into a business in a strip mall late on Saturday night.

 

 

That business happened to be the Northwest Escape Experience, which is one of those ESCAPE ROOMS that are everywhere now.

 

 

And this is a hell of an endorsement for the business . . . because once he was in, he couldn't figure out HOW to get out of the escape room.

 

 

So he wound up calling 911 for help.

 

 

The cops came and arrested him for second-degree burglary. 


Kaden's Crazy News A Drunk Driver Runs Back to His Burning Car to Light a Cigarette

A 25-year-old idiot named Robert Quigley was driving drunk near Sacramento, California on Sunday when he rear-ended an SUV, and his car caught fire.

 

 

He was going about 80 miles an hour when he ran into a traffic jam, and couldn't stop in time.  Luckily no one was seriously injured.

 

 

Anyway, a cop stopped to help, and saw Robert switching seats with his passenger to avoid a DUI.  Yes, the car was already on FIRE at this point.  So . . . great priorities.

 

 

Then after they were both out, Robert ran BACK to his burning car . . . so he could use the flames to light a cigarette.

 

 

He burned part of his eyebrows off in the process, but told cops he's not afraid of fire, because he, quote, "deals with this kind of stuff all the time."  (???)

 

 

It's not clear what he meant by that.  But it turned out it was his second DUI in less than a week. 


Kaden's Crazy New: Guy Named Benedict Went on an Egging Spree

I guess this guy's victims are all lucky they didn't have to find a way to get hollandaise sauce off their cars.

 

 

The police in Bismarck, North Dakota just caught a guy who egged more than 20 cars and a school last month.  And the name of the guy behind the eggings was . . . Benedict. 

 

 

Man, if he didn't hear "Eggs Benedict" jokes growing up, he just sealed that nickname for the rest of his life.

 

 

The cops arrested 19-year-old "Eggs" Benedict Ponzer last week for felony criminal mischief, after they got his license plate from a surveillance video.  It's a felony because he did more than $3,200 worth of damage to the cars.


Kaden's Crazy News: Cops Find a Drunk Driver's Big Gulp Full of Booze After He Demands They Search His Car

Here's a good example of how too much alcohol can make you WAY more confident than you should be . . .

 

 

Last month, police in Vero Beach, Florida pulled a guy over for blasting his music at 2:45 in the morning while driving through a residential neighborhood.

 

 

The driver was 32-year-old Tremaine McGriff, and he was obviously drunk.  He couldn't stand without holding onto a fence, and was slurring his words.

 

 

But apparently he still tried to claim he was fine to drive, and DEMANDED the cops search his car for alcohol.  So they did . . . and immediately found a Big Gulp cup full of booze and ice.  No mixer.  Just ice and alcohol.

 

 

He was slurring so badly, they couldn't understand his name, and asked him to WRITE it down.  And instead of Tremaine, he wrote "TreMARIO."  (It's almost like he wanted to use a fake name, but was already halfway in.)

 

 

They gave him a breathalyzer, and he was four times the legal limit.  He's now facing DUI charges. 

 

 

(TC Palm)

 

 

(Here's his mugshot.)


Kaden's Crazy News: A Bruce Springsteen Fan Got Scammed Out of $1,600, Because They Thought Bruce Was Texting Them Directly

You know the old scam where a "Nigerian prince" gets in touch and says he's desperately in need of a short-term loan?  Somehow, this might be even dumber . . .

 
 

 

Some rube in Morton Grove, Illinois near Chicago got a text last month that appeared to be from BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN.  Yes, The Boss was texting them directly.  He said he needed cash . . . and they actually believed it.

 

 

The text said he needed the money to help cover a, quote, "investment in gold he made in Dubai."  And they believed that part too.

 

 

They ended up sending the scammer $1,100 to cover the Dubai investment.  Plus, a $500 iTunes gift card that was supposed to help senior citizens pay off their phone bills.  (???)  (If anyone asks you to pay with an iTunes gift card, it's definitely a scam.)

 

 

They eventually wised up and called the cops, but not until after they'd transferred all the money.  And at that point, there wasn't much anyone could do. 

 

 

(Patch.com / Asbury Park Press)

 


Kaden's Crazy News: A Woman Is Arrested For Attacking Her Husband Using Aggressive Pillow Fighting Tactics

 It's a fine line between a pillow fight and a crime.

 

 

There's a 38-year-old woman in Niceville, Florida who got into an argument with her boyfriend last week after she threw their cat onto his lap.

 

 

And during their argument, she grabbed a pillow and started hitting him with it.  Then she grabbed a couch cushion and started hitting him with that.

 

 

And when he tried to stop her by grabbing the pillows, she pushed him back onto the couch.  Those are some seriously aggressive pillow fighting tactics.

 

 

Anyway, the cops got involved and she was arrested for domestic violence battery. 

 

 

(Northwest Florida Daily News)


Kaden's Crazy News: There's a Warrant Out For a Guy Who Called 911 Over a Glass of Milk and His Lost TV Remote

 I figured if you prank call 911 three or four times you'll probably wind up getting in trouble.  Apparently some police departments give you WAY, WAY more leeway.

 

 

There's a 62-year-old guy in the Atlanta area named William Baccus.  And he's called 911 at least 118 TIMES over the past three years . . . with exactly ZERO real emergencies.

 

 

One time he called and asked them to bring him a glass of milk.  One time it was because he couldn't find his cell phone.  One time it was because he lost his TV remote.

 

 

And the cops or fire department have gone to his house EVERY single time . . . and he never answers the door.

 

 

So they finally just put out a warrant for his arrest for abusing the 911 system.  And oddly enough, now he refuses to get in touch with them. 

 

 

(ABC 2 - Atlanta)

 
 
 
 

 


Kaden's Crazy News: A Guy Was Arrested For Shooting His Brother . . . Again

 I have a feeling I know what this guy's gonna do if he gets out of jail for a second time.

 

 

There's a 43-year-old guy in Phelps, Kentucky named David Adkins.  And last June, he was arrested for shooting his brother.

 

 

He was initially charged with attempted murder but he wound up pleading guilty to fourth-degree assault and he got out of jail three months ago.

 

 

But earlier this month . . . David shot his brother AGAIN.  We're not sure why but clearly these guys don't get along.

 

 

Anyway, his brother survived again, and David was arrested again.  He's in jail right now facing first-degree assault charges. 

 

 

(EKB TV

 

 

(Here's his mugshot


Kaden's Crazy News: A Thief Is Busted Because of His Nauseating Body Odor

This guy was just one shower away from the PERFECT CRIME . . . but it turns out that was just too much to ask.

 

 

A 35-year-old guy named Barry O'Pray broke into a guy named Ryan Boyd's apartment in Paisley, Scotland earlier this year.  Barry stole Ryan's PlayStation 4, his Nintendo Switch, and a bunch of games worth about $1,300.

 

 

And when Ryan got home and found that he'd been robbed, he noticed a very STRONG and AWFUL smell in his house.  It was the smell of horrible body odor.

 

 

But Ryan had smelled it before . . . earlier that morning, when he walked past a guy sitting on a bench near his apartment.  And yeah, that guy was Barry.

 

 

He passed that info along to the cops, and they were able to track down Barry. 

 

 

He was arrested for burglary, and last week, he was in court and pled guilty. 


Kaden's Crazy News: A 66-Year-Old Mom Attempts a Drive-By on Her Son

Here's something you DEFINITELY don't see every day. There's a 66-year-old woman in Panama City Beach, Florida named Priscilla Ann Ethridge.  And on Saturday night, she got into an argument with her 46-year-old son after she thought he stole her cell phone. He left the house on his bike . . . but she wasn't done with him. So she got in her car . . . and did a DRIVE-BY SHOOTING.  On her son. She fired one shot, but fortunately she missed . . . and she was arrested for aggravated assault with a firearm. The cops eventually found her phone . . . it was at her house all along. 

 

 

(Gainesville Sun

 

 

(Here's her mugshot.)


Kaden's Crazy News: A Drunk Woman Proposes to Her Designated Driver, Then Steals His Car When He Says No

As a designated driver, you expect to deal with some drunken yelling, maybe even some drunken puking.  But this is a whole other level . . .

 

 

A group of friends near Minneapolis went out drinking on Saturday and headed home around 3:00 A.M.  We don't know the driver's name.  But they were in his Hummer.  And one of the people he was dropping off was a 29-year-old woman named Panhia Vang.  (We're not sure, but we think it's pronounced PAH-nee-uh Vaing.)

 

 

But when they got to her place, she didn't jump out right away . . . and instead asked the guy to MARRY HER.  (???)  Then after he declined, she slid into the driver's seat and TOOK OFF.

 

 

Another designated driver had followed them to her place.  So the guy jumped in that car, and they followed her about three miles before she stopped.

 

 

At that point, he started YELLING at her to get out.  And he grabbed the roof rack, so she couldn't leave.  Which wasn't a great idea, because she floored it AGAIN and hit 80 miles an hour while he was still holding on.

 

 

He eventually lost his grip and suffered several broken bones.  His friends in the other car got him to a hospital.  Then Panhia got arrested when she showed up to VISIT him the next day.  She's facing several charges, including theft of a motor vehicle. 

 

 

(Pioneer Press / Mercury News)

 

 

(Here's her mugshot.)


Kaden's Crazy News: A Man Scaled a Family's Balcony While Trying to "Follow the Music" to Find His Friend's Party

This guy really should have asked for an exact address.  It would have saved him a trip to jail.  He also could have just not gone the Spider-Man route . . .

 

 

25-year-old Daniel Blair was headed to a party in Racine, Wisconsin on Saturday, but he'd never been to the apartment before.  So his friend told him to just follow the sound of the music when he got there.

 

 

And that's what he did.  But he couldn't get into the complex.  So he decided to scale the side of a balcony and CLIMB up to where the music was coming from.

 

 

Unfortunately, he ended up on someone else's balcony, and came face-to-face with a 12-year-old girl.

 

 

He tried to explain what he was doing.  But the girl's mom FREAKED OUT when she saw him, and probably thought he was breaking in.

 

 

It's not clear if she pushed him or what.  But she caused him to FALL off the balcony.  Then she called the cops.

 

 

When they got there, Daniel was still walking around looking for the party.  He's facing charges for disorderly conduct. 

 


Kaden's Crazy News: A Guy Sued His Ex-Girlfriend After He Got a Huge Scholarship, and She Never Told Him About It

 I think it's safe to say these two will never be getting back together.  Back in 2013, a Canadian guy named Eric Abramovitz applied for a scholarship at a music school in L.A.  He plays clarinet, and he'd already won a bunch of competitions.

 

 

And the scholarship would have allowed him to study under one of the best clarinet teachers in the world.  But unfortunately, he got an email that said he'd been rejected.

 

 

Then over a year later, he ended up auditioning for the same teacher . . . and found out he HAD actually been accepted, but never knew it.

 

 

It turned out his girlfriend at the time saw an email that said he'd won a FULL, $50,000 scholarship.  And she DELETED it, because she didn't want him to move away.

 

 

They broke up for unrelated reasons about a year later.  And he never knew about the scholarship until he met the teacher.

 

 

So Eric sued his ex, claiming the scholarship would have set him up to make a lot more money as a musician.  And a judge agreed, awarding him $350,000 in damages.

 

 

Eric doesn't know if he'll ever see any of that money though, because his ex blocked him on social media, disappeared, and no one's been able to track her down. 


Kaden's Crazy News: A Car Thief Is Busted With a Small Pet Monkey Clinging to His Chest

We're not sure what was distracting this car thief so much that he crashed . . . but we've definitely got a guess.

 

 

A 23-year-old guy named Cody Hession stole a car out of someone's driveway in St. Petersburg, Florida early Friday morning.  And he drove it about 35 miles to Holiday, Florida before he crashed in a ditch.

 

 

He ran, but the cops quickly tracked him down.  And . . . they found he had a small MONKEY in a diaper clinging to his chest.

 

 

He said he'd bought the monkey from a breeder in South Carolina, but he didn't have an exotic animal permit.

 

 

So Cody was arrested for auto theft and he may also be looking at charges for possession of an unlicensed monkey.

 

 

As the cops were cuffing Cody and getting ready to take him to jail, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission came to take possession of the monkey.  And they let him and Cody have one last goodbye kiss on the lips. 

 

 

(The Smoking Gun)


Kaden Crazy News: A Guy Set Fire to an American Flag Blanket Over Memorial Day Weekend and Started a Wildfire

Well this is the most un-American crime we've seen in a while . . .

 

 

Some idiot in Ephrata, Washington set fire to an American flag blanket over Memorial Day weekend.

 

 

It happened on Sunday, and the act of burning a flag ISN'T actually a crime.  It's protected under Free Speech.  But the fire SPREAD, and he accidentally started a WILDFIRE that burned about five acres.

 

 

Luckily firefighters put it out before it hit any houses, and no one was hurt.

 

 

It's still not clear if it was a political statement or what.  But if he just HAPPENED to be burning an American flag blanket around Memorial Day, that's a pretty big coincidence.

 

 

There's no word yet on what charges he might be facing.

 

 

(NBC News / Newsweek)


Kaden Crazy News: A Woman Says She Didn't Lead the Cops on a High-Speed Chase . . . Her Doppelganger Must've Stolen Her Car

Occam's razor says that the simplest explanation is almost always the right one.  This woman does NOT believe in Occam's razor.

 

 

The cops in Waukesha, Wisconsin got into a high-speed chase with a woman last week, where she was going 85 miles-an-hour through construction zones.  She actually got away, but then she ditched the car and ran.

 

 

The cops found a cell phone in the car belonging to a 37-year-old woman named Dianna Warchol.  They also found a receipt from Walgreens, and they reviewed the security footage from the store and saw a woman who looked like Dianna.

 

 

But . . . when they went to her house, she said it WASN'T her.  Yes, she'd driven the car to Walgreens.  Yes, she'd left her cell phone in there.  But no, she wasn't driving in the chase.

 

 

She said someone who looks exactly like her must've stolen the car and gotten into a chase with the cops.  And, she said, it happens to her all the time . . . people always get her mixed up with other women.

 

 

For some reason, the cops didn't buy her doppelganger car thief theory . . . and Dianna was arrested and charged with attempting to flee and driving with a suspended license.  She could get up to three-and-a-half years in prison. 


A Guy Set Fire to an American Flag Blanket Over Memorial Day Weekend and Started a Wildfire

Well this is the most un-American crime we've seen in a while . . .

 

 

Some idiot in Ephrata, Washington set fire to an American flag blanket over Memorial Day weekend.

 

 

It happened on Sunday, and the act of burning a flag ISN'T actually a crime.  It's protected under Free Speech.  But the fire SPREAD, and he accidentally started a WILDFIRE that burned about five acres.

 

 

Luckily firefighters put it out before it hit any houses, and no one was hurt.

 

 

It's still not clear if it was a political statement or what.  But if he just HAPPENED to be burning an American flag blanket around Memorial Day, that's a pretty big coincidence.

 

 

There's no word yet on what charges he might be facing.

 

 

(NBC News / Newsweek)


Kaden Crazy News: The Owner of a Music Store Gave a Kid a Free Trumpet Because His Mom Couldn't Afford It

This happened almost a decade ago, but the guy didn't know about it until he found this letter . . .

 

 

21-year-old Jacques Ruffin is from the Orlando area.  (It's pronounced Juh-kwees.)  He started playing the trumpet in middle school.  And his mom couldn't afford to buy him one, so she rented one from a music store called the Allegro Music Centre.

 

 

Recently, he was going through a closet in her home when he found a letter from the owner of the store, a guy named James Jones.

 

 

It turns out his mom had gotten behind on payments at one point, and couldn't catch up.  So James sent her a letter that said he was GIVING Jacques the $800 trumpet, because he didn't want him to have to give it up.

 

 

He just asked her to return it if Jacques ever lost interest, so another kid could get a chance to learn.  But that never happened, because he never quit.  He's still playing the same trumpet James gave him.

 

 

And here's how one good deed leads to another.  The letter inspired Jacques to start a GoFundMe page to buy instruments for OTHER underprivileged kids.  If you want to donate, just search for "Instruments for Students in Need" on GoFundMe.com. 

 

 

(ClickOrlando)

 

 

(Here's the letter.)

 


Kaden Crazy News: A Woman Got Away From the Cops, Bragged About It on Their Facebook Page . . . and Was Quickly Arrested

If you're a minor criminal, there's really NOTHING that's more effective for getting the cops to hunt you down than this.

 

 

Last week, the cops in Moses Lake, Washington pulled over a 27-year-old guy named Giovanni Powell for driving with a suspended license.

 

 

A 19-year-old woman named Kayla Irizzary was in the car, and since she wasn't breaking any laws, the cops let her go.

 

 

But then they searched the car, and they found her purse . . . which had her ID, a gun, and some heroin.  She's a convicted felon, so she can't own a gun.

 

 

Meanwhile, when she got home, she hopped on the police department's Facebook page and BRAGGED about how she got away from them.   So, of course, they started focusing on finding her.  

 

 

And on Saturday, they tracked her down and arrested her after a quick chase.

 

 

She's facing charges for unlawful possession of a firearm and possession of heroin. 


KADEN CRAZY NEWS: A Barber Throws a Client Through the Window For Complaining About His Haircut

I'm always afraid to tell the person cutting my hair that I don't like what they're doing . . . they have a LOT of sharp objects around.  But here's a sharp object I never even thought of.

 

 

A 33-year-old guy was at a barbershop in Brooklyn, New York on Thursday afternoon, and he told his barber that he didn't like the haircut . . . and he even threatened not to pay for it.

 

 

And the barber responded by . . . throwing him THROUGH the front window of the shop.

 

 

The guy's face got messed up pretty badly by the glass and he was taken to the hospital in an ambulance.

 

 

The barber ran off, and the other people at the shop said they didn't know his name or how to reach him . . . so the cops are trying to track him down


KADEN CRAZY NEWS :A Woman Used Her Boyfriend's Full Name in Her Graffiti Love Messages

I'll never get why people think spray-painting someone's name on public property proves their love.  How is graffiti romantic?  But this takes it to a whole new level of dumb . . .

 

 

Earlier this week, a 28-year-old woman named Brittany Ann Clenney took a can of purple spray paint to a new park that recently opened in Santa Rosa Beach, Florida.  (About 70 miles east of Pensacola.)

 

 

And she caused $10,000 in damages by covering the place in love messages for her boyfriend, John.

 

 

She spray-painted stuff on the side of a wooden dock that was just installed . . . on some big rocks next to it . . . on the side of a wall . . . and on a giant column for a huge overhead bridge.

 

 

But unfortunately for Brittany, the cops were easily able to figure out who did it . . . because she used John's FULL NAME in one of the messages.

 

 

It said, quote, "John Ryan Wilson, you stole my heart.  And I love it."  Then one of her other messages was signed "Brittany Ann."

 

 

The cops tracked her down on Tuesday, and she still had purple paint on one of her arms.  She's facing a felony charge for criminal mischief. 

 

 

(Walton County Sheriff's Office / WEAR)


Kaden Crazy News: A Burglar Is Caught on a Security Camera Stopping to Dance in the Middle of His Break-In

I guess you never know when the rhythm is gonna get ya.

 

 

Earlier this month, a guy named David Seale broke into a law firm in Fresno, California.  And after he got into the lobby, something must've come over him . . . because he stopped what he was doing for nine seconds to DANCE.

 

 

The security camera in the lobby got a perfect shot of him popping and locking . . . maybe popping the lock to the door inspired him?  Then he went back to his break-in.

 

 

He wound up stealing a laptop and a bunch of keys . . . and the cops tracked him down quickly and arrested him.

 

 

He was charged with burglary. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_oVkWz71vA

 


KADEN CRAZY NEWS :A Man Tries to Hide His Legless Fugitive Girlfriend Inside a Plastic Storage Container

Well this is a new one.

 

 

The cops and U.S. Marshals in Florida were looking for a 39-year-old fugitive named Krystle Lee Anderson last Tuesday, and they had a lead that she was staying at her boyfriend's house.  He's a 48-year-old named John Carr in Winter Haven, Florida.

 

 

Krystle doesn't have LEGS . . . and when authorities went to the house, they spotted John trying to cram Krystle into a plastic storage bin.

 

 

It's not clear what the plan was . . . like, were they going to put her on a shelf with the Christmas decorations and old DVDs and hope the cops wouldn't notice?

 

 

Anyway, they were both arrested.

 

 

Krystle lost her legs in a police shootout back in 2015, when she held up a Burger King.  She pointed a gun at the cops, they shot her, and apparently her legs had to be amputated as a result.  Her gun turned out to be a BB gun.

 

 

But she never showed in court after that to face her kidnapping and assault charges, and there's been a warrant out for her ever since. 

 

 

(Lakeland Ledger

 

 

(Here's her mugshot.  She looks weirdly like B.J. Noak from "The Office".)

 

 

Kaden Crazy News A Guy Steals a TV From Walmart . . . Then Asks the Cops For a Ride Home

his guy is either the BOLDEST criminal we've seen in a while, or the dumbest.  There's no third option.

 

 

A 24-year-old guy named Tayvon Wilson went to a Walmart in Columbus, Georgia last week . . . picked up a 55-inch Samsung TV . . . and walked out of the store through the car department without paying.

 

 

But a 55-inch TV is pretty heavy and bulky, and apparently he was having trouble carrying it as he walked home.

 

 

So he saw two police officers and asked them if they'd give him . . . and his TV . . . a ride home.  Wow.

 

 

That was right around when the cops got a call from the Walmart about the missing TV.  They connected the dots . . . and Tayvon was arrested for shoplifting. 

 

 

(Columbus Ledger-Enquirer)

 

 

(Here's his mugshot.)

 


Kaden Crazy News : A Woman at a 7-Eleven Tries to Heat Up Pee For a Drug Test . . . But It Explodes in the Microwave

 This is one of those moments that HAS to make someone re-evaluate what their life has become.

 

 

There's a 26-year-old woman named Angelique Sanchez from Aurora, Colorado, and she was trying to get a job at a health clinic last week.  She needed to take a drug test for the job . . . and apparently, Angelique knew she'd fail.

 

 

So . . . she got her hands on someone else's pee.  But she knew it had to be WARM or the testers would know she'd smuggled it in . . . so she took it to a 7-Eleven before her test to heat it up in their microwave.

 

 

And . . . it EXPLODED.

 

 

So Angelique bolted, and the 7-Eleven clerk found a bunch of yellow liquid dripping from the microwave.  He realized what it was and called the cops . . . and they tracked Angelique down at her job interview down the street.

 

 

She's facing one count of damaging property . . . and, spoiler alert, now that the health clinic knows about this story she's PROBABLY not getting that job. 

 

 

(NBC 9 - Denver

 

 

 

 

(Here's her mugshot.)

 

 


Kaden Crazy News: A Man Forgot His Anniversary . . . So His Wife Beat Him Up

This isn't the first guy to forget his anniversary and have to scramble to make something happen.  It just doesn't sound like he scrambled hard enough . . . and his wife might be a crazy person.

 

 

A 41-year-old near Tampa named Ronnie Alexander woke up last Wednesday, and immediately got in a fight with his wife Carol because he forgot it was their wedding anniversary.

 

 

Luckily he had to go to work.  Which gave him a chance to plan something for LATER in the day.

 

 

But when he got home from work, he showed up with a SINGLE ROSE.  And he said he was GOING to book a hotel somewhere for the weekend.  But it doesn't sound like he'd actually booked anything yet.

 

 

Shortly after that, Carol LOST IT . . . hit him multiple times . . . and he ended up with scratches on his neck and chest.

 

 

When police questioned her, she admitted that she, quote, "flipped the [S-word] out" on him.  She's facing charges for misdemeanor domestic battery.

 

 

(The Smoking Gun)


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